Friday, October 28, 2011

A day in the life of a college student.

Overworked and underpaid; hello, I am a student.

I stay up too late and get up too early. I work hard to learn what I wish, and slack off on general education classes. I don't have all my priorities straight, and I'm still trying to figure myself out. Sometimes alcohol is my friend, other times my worst enemy.

At 2:00am I could be at the bars, or in the library. I'm pretty sure the coffee shop calls my name.  Am I sick, or is it just lack of sleep? Oh how I wish I never had to get out of bed.

I miss my family. I'm nostalgic for a past life, and yet I believe the longer I'm here, the better my present and future will be.  What do I want to major in? Where will I be 4 years from now? Do you think I'll meet my future spouse here?

I must go abroad. This place opens my eyes and opens my heart to the world.
I have too many advisers that don't advise. Just get me out of here for a while!

Here's to random road trips across the state to take a break from studying. Here's to taking off our pajama pants to meet a friend at the pubs.  Here's to getting involved and loving every second of it. Here's to meeting the most amazing people of our lives. Here's to meeting our future husband or wife. Here's to music, here's to laughter, here's to love, here's to the future.

Who was I before I came here? I'm not entirely sure.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Hypocrites and limbos.

When your mantra is "keep calm and carry on" but you freak out and cry when the stress becomes unbearable.

When you try to be involved and passionate, taking on more responsibilities, only to realize you hate it.

When you're mad at your friends for bailing on you, only to bail on your friends.

When you're stuck choosing between letting your grades fall or taking care of your health.

When you want to be "in the moment" but you can't stop getting lost in nostalgia or thinking about your future out of this city and away from everything you know now.

When you give advice like "roll with the punches" but you'd rather get punched.

When you want to be happy but can't turn off the sad music.

When you tell your friend you need help only to realize she does too and you can't help her.

When your 18 year old hyperthyroidic cat is puking and pooping everywhere making you miserable and more stressed but you don't have the heart to put him down.

When you want to start up an sophisticated blog but can't help posting emotional rants.

Thursday, October 6, 2011


I'm no expert on marriage, let me just put that out there. I've been married for just about 7 months now and that doesn't mean I know everything about it. It also doesn't mean I affiliate with what it stands for in a religious sense. Before I state my meaning, lets all be clear about what marriage means:

Marriage is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged in a variety of ways, depending on the culture or subculture in which it is found.
People marry for many reasons, including one or more of the following: legal, social, libidinal, emotional, economic, spiritual, and religious.  Some cultures allow the dissolution of marriage through divorce or annulment.
Marriage is usually recognized by the state, a religious authority, or both. It is often viewed as a contract. Civil marriage is the legal concept of marriage as a governmental institution irrespective of religious affiliation, in accordance with marriage laws of the jurisdiction.

We all have our opinions, we all have our reasons for what we do. As much as I hate the fact that not everyone is allowed to marry the one they love in this country, Zach and I got married to legally, socially, and emotionally express our love and utter devotion to each other. NOT because we are religious, NOT because we wanted benefits, NOT because I was rebelling against my family, NOT for any other reason besides those listed above. I was/am so committed to him that I was willing to legally contract our relationship, and so was he.

"But why did you get married so young? Why didn't you wait? Why didn't you wait until at least after graduation?" 
Someone please tell me what I was supposed to "wait" for. If we were sure of ourselves, lacking any interest in a large wedding, and ready to bring our relationship to the next level... why should we have waited? What would waiting have benefited? Nothing whatsoever. We talked about marriage back in December of 2009, almost a year after our relationship began, and didn't get married until March 2011 and that is enough waiting for me.  The more I think about it, the more outright PROUD I am of us for getting married when we did.  For being sure of ourselves, for moving forward with what we thought was right, for not letting others strong arm our personal lives and opinions.

"but you're so selfish! didn't you want family there? didn't you want me there? didn't you want more friends there?" 
I'm sorry, but are YOU the one getting married? I didn't think so. A legal contract to swear our lives to each other, swear eternal love for each other, and eternal commitment has nothing to do with anyone but the two people who are agreeing to it.

Marriage is whatever you decide to make it: spiritual, legal, emotional, economical.
I strongly encourage everyone to rethink marriage and what it really means to them. Are you waiting for the wrong reasons? Did you get married for the wrong reasons?

On the notion of marriage, I will continue.
LOVE IS LOVE, no matter who or what you are.
Homosexuality exists in almost every single species: homophobia exists in only one. Ours. We created marriage to legally contract the union of two people. WHY are we denying this to a large population of the country? I will never again refer to America as the land of the free when LGBT couples are refused the right to marry.

How would you feel if you were denied the right to do something due to something about you that is out of your control?  I'm sorry, you can't get a promotion because you're too short and it would make the company look bad. I'm sorry, you cannot work for the church maintenance because you're an atheist. I'm sorry, you cannot fly on this plane because you look like a terrorist.  I'm sorry, you cannot legally, emotionally, and socially bind your relationship because you're not heterosexual.


A good friend of mine is refusing to get married to her fiance until everyone in this country is allowed to. I'm with her 100% of the way.