Reflection

My decision to apply to Seattle University was a light one in comparison to the research, guidance, and work that other grad students put into finding the right program. Simply put, SU had a good reputation, a highly appealing course load, and I couldn't see anything I didn't like about it besides the fact that grad students here don't get much financial help, even with a GAship. Sometimes I think that I should have sought after an institution that would help pay for my masters, but eventually I realize, and will continue to realize, that Seattle University is going to be worth my money.

And so I find myself, an atheist, in a Jesuit university. When I was awarded a graduate assistantship, I learned that all GAs were to read sections out of two books that they sent to us: Ignatian Humanism and Heroic Leadership. When I first heard this, before I knew what the books were about, I was apprehensive to read them. I didn't want to be preached to, I didn't want to read about 'god,' I didn't want to learn to pray. I had accepted the fact that I was now enrolled in a private institution and would have to accept the differences, but I wasn't ready to be converted, by any means.

I put off reading them. I put it off and put it off, joking with my friends that I had to read "Jesus books" as part of my graduate assistantship, something I now realize could be offensive, and I regret saying it. But one day I cracked open Ignatian Humanism and dove into 15th century Spain and the life of Ignatius of Loyola, someone I didn't know existed until recently. I was fascinated by his life, failures, and successes on his way to becoming the founder of the Society of Jesus. More reading taught me about the incredible lives of other pioneers of the religion such as Matteo Ricci, Francis Xavier, and Pedro Arrupe. Ignatius's soul searching pilgrimages and deep dedication to generosity, Ricci's introduction of China to the western world, and Arrupe's incredible experiences learning from and befriending the Japanese, including living through Hiroshima with them; it is a fascinating story. I think that in the near future I will find myself reading the rest of the book, and much more than what was required of us for training.

Right now I'm still working on the other book Heroic Leadership and it is proving to be a very valuable read. According to the text, Jesuits became leaders by: understanding their strengths, weaknesses, values and worldview; confidently innovating and adapting to embrace a changing world; engaging others with a positive, loving attitude; and energizing themselves and others through heroic ambitions. No matter where I turn at this university, in readings, in work, in course preparations; I find myself learning necessary lessons for not just my future career, but also to make myself a better person. A book that I honestly thought would preach to me what I need to do in order to be a religious leader is turning out to be a no-nonsense book about how to be a real leader, from the inside, out.

Which brings me to the title of this post: reflection. It is somewhat of a joke amongst students in the SDA program that there is such copious amounts of reflection required for each course, internship, and assignment. It wasn't until I began reading these texts that I realized its necessity. The Society of Jesus was founded on the large amount of time that Ignatius had to reflect while he was ill in bed for months. Since then, his followers have known and utilized the value in reflection, and it is a practice passed down and practiced to this very day. After reading portions of these texts, the reason the students in our program have so much reflecting to do is obvious.

I never thought I'd find myself in a private university, but I'm glad I chose to come here. Thank goodness it is finally September, because I am quite impatient for classes to start! Countdown: 19 days. At least I'll get to order my books soon! Later today Zach and I are volunteering at Bumbershoot, and after our shift I get to see City and Colour perform. All in all... HAPPY WEEKEND!