In high school (2005-2008) I dyed my hair whenever I needed a change but didn't have enough control over my life to do anything more drastic. A few weeks into my first semester of college (2008), 450 miles from home, I pierced my nose just because I was free and felt like I could do whatever I wanted. Right before I left for Chile (2009) for 4 months I finally got the tattoo I wanted: a phrase that carried me through some hard times.
Why did I keep going, though?
I've been thinking about this for years and I came to realize it was the euphoria of finally appreciating and really liking something about myself that kept me wanting more. In high school and middle school, dealing with my pubescent body changes, dramatic friends, and not getting along with my parents were my hardest battles. I felt trapped, I felt like I had no control, there was nothing I could change, and it, as well as other personal experiences, led me to ultimately hate myself. At the same time, I started experiencing disordered eating as a way to take control. All of these are things I'm still recovering from to this day, but also something I have been dealing with, partially with the help of modifying my body to the way I like it. The little things I've done: getting tattoos, dying my hair, getting piercings, losing weight, changing my clothing style; it has all gradually added to my self-confidence and self-love.
I'm not yet to the point that I want to be, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm going to modify my body drastically or very much more from here. It just means I'm going to keep going wherever life is taking me.
"Running is a metaphor for life: there is always someone faster than you, and someone slower, so all you can do is keep going and put your heart into it."I like this quote because of everything it can apply to. In this case: sure, sometimes I compare myself to others and think "maybe I shouldn't have changed my body so much, maybe I won't be able to get the job I want, and maybe I should have learned to love myself the way I am" but I just don't think that is right. We're humans, the intelligent species of earth, and we invented body modifications for a reason. Sure they started out as spiritual reasons, but even that was something a person would do to feel PERSONALLY more connected to their god. To me, this is something I have done to myself PERSONALLY to feel more connected and one with myself, my own beliefs and spirituality. Do I see heavily modified people and think that their heavily modified body is my goal? No. To each his own, to the very end, and that is all I'll tell you if you ask me if I'm getting more.
Another thing I would like to address is body modifications in the work place. It boggles my mind how people can think that body modifications diminish a person's intelligence and render them incapable of customer service, so clearly he or she cannot be hired. I hope this doesn't sound too inappropriate, but I think this could one day be considered discrimination. On a similar note, HOW are facial piercings and unnatural hair colors "unprofessional"? You know what else is considered body modifications? Body building, losing or gaining weight, wearing make up, and painting your nails. Are those considered unprofessional? No. But its the same thing, the same category, the same concept.
Though, maybe things with society and body modifications are changing. I currently hold 5 jobs and I'm a full time student, and nobody has a problem with my own modifications (though, they're not THAT out there and obvious.)
If you're still intrigued after reading my semi-rant, do go see the documentary "Modify". Follow the link, it will change your life.
On that note, I bid you all adieu, for now.
No comments:
Post a Comment