Win some, lose some.

This morning I woke up, headed over to the bathroom, and turned the shower knob, but no water came out. Yes, the water main burst in the middle of the night, apparently, and I found this out after dressing and trying to track down my landlord early this morning. So I did what any water-less person has to do and used the water in the pitcher of our fridge by pouring it over my head in the tub.

I tried not to let this ruin my day, as it was my first day in the International Student Center at Seattle University as their graduate assistant. Luckily I pushed the water-less morning out of my head because I had a fantastic first day. I started my position at the ISC two weeks earlier than most GAs because I'm helping with a short term program; 17 students from Fukuoka University in Japan are here for the next two and a half weeks to study English and Law. Most of the day I set up my work station, got to know my new coworkers, and waited for the students to arrive from the airport. When they did my coworkers Nguyen, Anya, and Dominic and the staff of the ISC Dale and Sandra all met up with them and oriented them to staying in the dorms (they're staying with host families after tonight). We ate dinner with them at Cherry Street Market (the student dining hall) and then Nguyen, Anya, Dominic, and I took them for a walk down Broadway and through Cal Anderson Park. I was only able to learn a few names, but they are a wonderful group of students and I got to practice my Japanese with them. I'm really looking forward to working with them more! Since I want to work, intern, or study in Japan at some point, I'm going to ask them lots of questions and learn as much as I can.

I stayed with the Fukuoka group much later than my usual Monday office hours would go (didn't get home until past 8pm), but I was able, willing, and eager to spend time with the students so I don't mind at all. I'm sure once classes start up I won't be able to afford much extra time there.

Honestly right now I'm really bummed about this dress that just got ruined in the wash. I am the worst person to do laundry! I'm constantly shrinking, dying, or just plain ruining my clothes. I'm mostly upset because I never got the chance to wear the dress and it shrunk so badly that I will ever get to. I swear I ruin at least one item of clothing every time I do laundry. Hundreds of dollars of clothes have been wasted because I apparently cannot separate my clothes and wash them correctly. What is wrong with me? As soon as I saw the dress today I thought to myself "THIS IS WHY YOU CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!" I've been stressing about money lately, so any time I waste something I get pretty upset.

Today was such a push and pull of good and bad happenings, hence the post's title. But I suppose that's how life works; it's not perfect all of the time. I have to learn not to fret the small stuff, but IT'S ALL THE SMALL STUFF! (I think I just stole that tagline from the book Don't sweat the small stuff). I've had a few bouts of pretty bad anxiety since arriving in Seattle, but I'm really hoping those disappear once this place starts feeling like home. Sometimes my mind compiles all of the things I could possibly worry about and makes me worry about them all at the same time. Then my poor self-image and complete lack of confidence adds fuel to the fire and I start a long, grueling, downward spiral. Thankfully I have a loving, down-to-earth partner, an affectionate cat, books, and room to do yoga in our studio; these things have been keeping my head above water so far.

But enough of the sad/anxiety crap that I dwell on too much...

I'm going to my first Seattle Sounders game on Saturday with my job at SSCC! I'm taking 19 students with me and we're going to arrive early to storm the field before the game starts. It will be my first event with students without my coworker, but I know we'll be fine. I'm really getting the hang of my position there now, thankfully.

This is my first week working both my GAship and my job at SSCC; wish me luck! My schedule is only going to get busier from here.

Blood, sweat, and tears

Our first 5 weeks in Seattle haven't been 100% blood, sweat, and tears, but if you asked me how I felt about moving the day before we left St. Cloud, you would have found me curled up in a ball on the floor of our empty closet with wet, swollen eyes sobbing about how we're not going to make it.

Looking back on August of 2008, the days before I left New Berlin, Wisconsin for St. Cloud State University in Minnesota, I cannot recall how I felt about the whole thing. There was so much to prepare for in the days leading to my departure that by now everything in my memory is a blur. The only thing I remember is the moment I hugged my parents goodbye on campus; I saw their eyes getting wet and as they turned away, my own tears started flowing without my consent. I turned around and looked at Mitchell Hall, my new home, and never felt so alone in my life. There was not one person in the entire city who's name I knew besides my roommate's.

Four years of SCSU later I found myself with quality friendships, multiple jobs, internships, and a husband. Everything worked out. That first year was hard, and so was the last year, but everything worked out. I have to remember that while I'm in Seattle. I have to remember that every time that we move (because we plan on moving around a lot).

Tomorrow marks 5 weeks here. Yesterday, I was offered two part-time positions in my field. One is a graduate assistantship at Seattle University with the International Student Center and the other position is the Activities and Events Coordinator with South Seattle Community College.  I am delighted that my hard work and dedication paid off. Of course, I couldn't have done it with a little help from some new friends. Melissa was a girl in my summer class; she let me know about the International Student Center deciding to hire a second graduate assistant because she works there as one. Lindsey, another girl in my summer class, actually works in the same office at South Seattle Community College, where I got my position, and put in good words for me. Thank you so much, you two! I appreciate your help and support.

Tonight we're going out for food and drinks, partially because I haven't seen people from my class in a while, partially because I want to go out and celebrate getting job(S)!

It's been such a productive week, I feel incredible. My Google calendar is filling up nicely again. Remember this?

August 2011 - May 2012: Every waking second I either worked or did homework.

Yeah I don't ever want to go back to that. But the past 5 weeks my Google Calendar has been anxiety-provoking-ly EMPTY. I'll have to remember to keep a healthy balance. Being under-involved makes me lonely, being overly-involved makes me crazy. Two jobs, grad school, and a few volunteer hours each week should keep me well balanced, I think.

Going back to the post title: blood, sweat, and tears. I shed so many tears in the past few months. In May it was because of all the difficult goodbyes I had to face, in June it was because I lacked hope and felt in dispair without friends or an income. It's July now and my blood, sweat, and tears have pulled through for me with jobs and new friends. I'm so fortunate and grateful that things are working out. Now if only an employer would see Zach's resume and recognize his genius and glory so we're both employed!

Today I have some appointments on campus and I'm going to take care of some things there. Tomorrow I head over to South Seattle Community College to fill out some hiring paperwork. I start next week at SSCC and my first day at the ISC at SU is August 27! I'm proud of myself.