Merry Xmas

As I scroll through social media this Christmas, I suddenly understand why it is so sad to be alone during this holiday. Pages and pages I scroll through of the same pictures: families, stockings, pets dressed up in holiday gear, presents, pajamas, and food. What I realized, was that just about each and every person I know that is near and dear to me, is spending this day with their family, meaning, everyone is preoccupied with their family, except myself. My family is thousands of miles away and I am without relatives and friends. Everything is closed and the weather isn't very inviting.

I'm not looking for pity, I am just pointing out why it is so sad to be alone on Christmas when everyone you know celebrates it. The world is shut down, too busy with hot food, cheesy music, and countless relatives.

Granted, I'm not alone, I do have Zach beside me always, but recently I've realized that I'm a huge fan of tradition. It is the tradition of being with family and large groups of loved ones on this holiday that I'm missing so badly right now. I've already made a vow to myself that no matter where I end up for the rest of my life, I'm going to work hard to save up enough money to visit family and friends during the holidays. I wish I realized earlier how much I valued and prioritized the traditions and family in my life: I could have made some very different choices about where I am today.

You know, I came to a similar realization yesterday through another blog that I utilize. I created a post wording my frustrations about how the majority of people ages 18 to 25 have a "freak out" moment when a few of their friends get engaged, married, or pregnant. I can't tell you how many times over social media that I've seen this phrase, in effect: "Ohmygod, everyone I know is getting engaged, married, or pregnant! What the heck!" In my post, I just asked my followers, "What's the big deal?" One of my friends Kelsey posted a response that made sense to me, a response that will remind you of my alone-on-Christmas feelings. It was, verbatim: "It means there are less people to do things with because they forever will have to do things with their significant other and or baby before they can hang out with you."

And that's exactly where I'm at right now. Everyone is spending time with their families, and Zach and I are not.

But alas, we are not truly alone, we are here in Seattle, spending Christmas together with Odin, and Feared Kraken. We don't even celebrate it, technically, but it will always be a holiday in my heart, a holiday of tradition and family, no matter what I might believe religiously. For a few years, I got Zach to celebrate it as "Materialistically-Show-People-You-Love-Them Day" but I'm afraid that died out, as neither of us exchanged gifts with each other this year.

I might sound pretty mopey, but Zach and I have a good day planned together. We're going to decorate cookies, play some video games, and just indulge in goodies, heated blankets, music, and time together.  I might be missing home, but at least I found a partner who can make me happier than I ever thought possible.

I hope everyone has a beautiful holiday, with whoever you celebrate doing whatever you do. Enjoy it! Indulge! And may you be happy for the rest of your lives :)

Winter Break Ramble

It's been a week and a half since I've been off my regular class schedule. Yes, it has been an amazing relief! As I've said in this blog time and time again, the work, thought, and concentration that I've put into my studies here so far have been more challenging than anything else I've ever experienced. But I'm proud of what I've accomplished so far, and I know that in the end, every late night and lesson learned will be fully worth it. So far, it has been: my grades for my first full quarter of grad school are A-, A, A.

Next quarter, I'm signed up for 3 classes: Higher Education Law, The American Community College, and Leadership in a Pluralistic Society. The last class is in the school of Theology and Ministry: never in my life did I imagine taking a course in such a school at a private university! My honest perspective, though, is that I'm truly looking forward to the experience. I might not enjoy religion personally, but I value what we can learn from it.

I'm currently struggling with what to write for the rest of this blog post. All this extra time I have since I don't have homework anymore, has left me alone in my head all too often. I find myself analyzing my life, where it's been and where it's going. Sometimes I spend too much time thinking about the past, looking at old photos, or reading old notes. I hope that by the end of winter break, I'll have some of these thoughts straightened out so I can more smoothly move forward with my academics and new life in Seattle.

Oh Seattle.
It's been just over 6 months now- half a year. Does it feel longer? Does it feel shorter? I can't really say. I'm just really proud of Zach and I for making it. And I have to say thank you to everyone who has supported us along the way that helped make it possible. I certainly could not have done this alone, as I've said time and time again...

Alas, I shall write more when I'm in a better mood. Tonight I'm too nostalgic and can't concentrate well enough to finish this.

Here's a pic of Zach and I at the SUSDA holiday party. We look good :)