Here's what I'm going to do

I'm going to make it through this week,
no event, person, mishap, or lack of sleep will get me down.
I'm going to make it through this quarter,
regardless of the mountain of work ahead of me.
I'm going to put it all into perspective, do what I have to do
to Keep Moving Forward.

Before I know it, I'm going to be walking across that stage, robes and hood, getting my master's degree.

after that,
the possibilities are endless.

Zach and I have talked about applying for the Peace Corps after I graduate, and the idea looks better and better every day. If we decide to go through with it, we'll have to start our application as early as this summer. With my Spanish language background, I have a good feeling they might want to place us in Latin America, if we're accepted. But who knows? Maybe at the end of 2014 Zach and I will be settling in somewhere in Africa, somewhere in Asia, or Eastern Europe. I don't even care where we go: I just want the opportunity to serve, the opportunity to travel, the opportunity to learn, and the opportunity to explore.

Our friends Bretta and Dylan just got back from a trip to India and Nepal. I never knew how badly I wanted to go to Nepal until I saw her photos. What an unbelievable trip they must have had; the photos she took were so beautiful and truly captured what life must be like there. Looking at them made me think about how much I hate to sit idly by, in one country, during the duration of my short life, for there is so much world to explore!

Oh how I'd love to pack a bag, and call it my "home."
To travel with only what can fit on my back and on my body, and experience people, culture, religion, and climate first hand, with my own eyes, ears, nose, and feet.
Lucky for me, I have a husband who would be willing to do all this at my side.

Someday, I'll have some more of my life figured out (though, they say that never really happens).
Someday, we'll manage our funds so that we can continue following our hearts by experiencing the world.
Someday, I won't even remember how many nights I cried just trying my best to complete all my papers and projects for grad school.
Someday, I won't even remember what chronic depression feels like.

I often feel "stuck," but I have to remember how far I've come already

• I travelled with my high school orchestra to England and Ireland
• moved 450 miles from home for college
• Studied abroad in Chile for 4 months
• Moved 1,600 miles from MN to WA for grad school
• Attended professional conference in Hawaii

I must remember that all of these are accomplishments that I should be proud of. No matter what the outcome of all of them were or are. I'm blinded right now, from the stress and hardship of 2 jobs and graduate study, but every once and a while I can see clearly. Every once and a while I can see my purpose and my bright future. 

Someday, Zach and I are going to look back on our lives and say
"Wow. Look what we've accomplished. Look what we've seen. Look at what we've learned.
I'd never want it any other way."

2012

Whoa. Here we are again. A new year. They're going faster and faster, aren't they? I've learned that as I've gotten older. Life doesn't slow down for you, in fact, it speeds up exponentially. Suddenly you're married and living across the country for grad school at 22 years old, asking yourself, how the hell did I get here?

2012 was phenomenal and definitely my biggest year of change thus far.
(Click here for my post about 2011)
Unfortunately, I just don't have the time to go through and write about each and every important event. I should have blogged more this year, I guess. But in order to give myself a year in review, I'll bullet point some important events for each month. 

I should warn you, this is going to be a long, boring list of what happened to me this year. It's no thrilling novel.

January

• I spent 2012 NYE at the house I was renting with Zach, our 2 roommates, and a ton of other friends. It was the most memorable NYE I've had to date and I wouldn't have spent it any other way. Apparently I didn't post any pictures from NYE last year, because I cannot seem to find them!
• I remember I was still doing some KVSC shows for a while... I was always who they called when someone couldn't cover the Sisters show on Sundays.
• The jobs I held:
• National Events Coordinator with University Program Board at SCSU
• Receptionist and Event Planning Intern at Element Mental Health Services in St. Cloud, MN
• Office Assistant at Department of Foreign Languages, SCSU
• Cashier and Attendant at Cenex [gas station]
• Brought Cornel West to SCSU for my job and had an incredible experience meeting him and putting on the event for the Power in Diversity Conference

Got an amazing package from my host family in Chile in January :)

February

• My host mom started her own Etsy shop! http://www.etsy.com/shop/SaritasYarn?ref=shop_sugg
• Brought Sherman Alexie to SCSU for UPB!
• Volunteered at the phone banks for KVSC Trivia Weekend
• I went to a conference called Careers in Student Affairs in Minneapolis and learned a lot about the field I was going to enter after college.

Myself and my volunteer crew with Sherman Alexie! February 2012

Also got my septum pierced. February 2012

Zach and I volunteering at the phone banks ALL NIGHT for KVSC Trivia Weekend!

March

• Erica came all the way up to St. Cloud from Milwaukee to visit me one last time before I moved across the country!
• Went to Q Quest Youth Fest for my internship. Learned about youth LGBT movements in the Minneapolis/Minnesota region.
• Started the job search in Seattle via the Internet.

April

• Helped put on the Central Minnesota Prom Alternative (an LGBT prom for area teens) for my internship with Element. 
• Brought author Rory Freedman to SCSU (she wrote Shut Up, Skinny Bitches!) 
• Also brought the author of Shut Up Skinny Bitches, Maria Rago!
• FINALLY received my acceptance letter for grad school at Seattle University after being on the waiting list for about 3 months!
• Had a CRAZY cool Easter experience with Zach
• I was awarded SCSU Student Employee of the Year
• Hosted Heads VS Feds on campus, a marijuana legalization debate.

My volunteers, advisor, and myself with the author of Shut Up Skinny Bitches!

My award! I am still so honored and thankful.

May

• May 2012 was my very last UPB end-of-the-year Banquet.
• Finally visited the Cherry and Spoon art in Minneapolis. 
• My entire family drove 8 hours to St. Cloud to watch me graduate and we worked on mending our relationship
• Zach and I gave away almost everything we ever owned
• We said goodbye to our life in St. Cloud, and set off across the country on the 31st.

My very last UPB banquet. 

Finally saw this MN attraction, right before I left!

My family and I at my graduation! If only we could get a photo with ALL of us smiling.

It was so hard to say goodbye to my roommate and best friend, Tara

June

• Moved to SEATTLE. Along the way we stayed with friends and family. Our lease in St. Cloud ended on May 31st, but our Seattle studio lease didn't start until June 8th; basically we took our time getting across the plains and mountains.
• Took my very first graduate class: Best Practices in Student Services. Part of the class was an overnight field trip to Moscow, Idaho, where we stayed in Living Learning Communities at the University of Idaho and learned about their Student Affairs departments.
• I started meeting people from my cohort. It was very exciting to put together Facebook profile photos and real, actual faces!
• Went to Seattle Pride weekend!

Still can't believe I live here sometimes...

Julianna and I at Seattle Pride Weekend!

Out for a drink with my summer classmates and professor

First Hill: My new neighborhood! 

July

• Our friend Ish surprised us with a visit early in the month! Told us that he got confirmation his package arrived at our place, and then there he was on my stoop when I went to check my mail. Best surprise visit ever!
• Di and Mitch visited us while they were on their big move to California
• Went to a Seattle Sounders game for work! [Professional Soccer Team]

From when the Heids visited us!

Ish's surprise visit

August

• Went to a Seattle Mariner's game for work [baseball]
• Started my Graduate Assistantship at the International Student Center at Seattle University
• My life became so busy, no end was in sight

This is from a rally before the Sounders game!

Started meeting people in my cohort! This girlie is Eden, from Kansas :)

September

• Reconnected with a dear friend.
• Tried to survive my first few weeks of grad school. Oh it wasn't easy for me. There was a lot of crying, a lot of wine, and a lot of "I need to give up"s. Somehow, most likely with the help of my new friends, my cohort, and my husband, I managed to get through the quarter.

Myself and some of the ISC staff and student leaders after Fall Quarter Orientation!

Got to work with some students from Fukuoka University in Japan!

October

• Saw Amy Goodman at Town Hall Seattle where I bought her latest book The Silent Majority. I also got her and Dennis Moynihan (the co-author) to sign it! Click here to read my post about the event.

My office at SSCC dressed up as Harry Potter for Halloween!

Attended a conference about supporting undocumented students!

November

• Went to Waikoloa, Hawaii for almost a week for the Region V Annual NASPA Conference. I booked my tickets with my friend Eden and shared a giant hotel with a bunch of other students in my program. I saved a ton of money, not to mention the $300 scholarship I got from NASPA before I left!

Part of the group I went to Hawaii with. I had SO much fun with them, and learned SO much.

Everyone that attended the New Professional / Graduate Student institute at NASPA. Can you find me?

December

• Managed to pull off a good GPA this quarter: A, A, A-.
• Some of our MN friends came out to visit for NYE! They were here for about 5 days and we showed them Pikes Place, a brewery, the stadiums, International District, and more I can't even remember. I had so much fun while they were here!

Sophie, MJ, Zach, and I at the SUSDA holiday party

Group photo at the work holiday party. Lots of love in the ISC! :)

The group of Minnesotans who visited Zach and I over New Years! Twas a BLAST!

Looking back, I am incredibly grateful for this year I built for myself. I have accomplished quite a lot and I need to remember that instant gratification is impossible.  My proudest moments were the connections and relationships I've both made anew and rekindled. I am learning how to be selfless and what it truly means to put others before myself, and I'm glad I have been able to bring these individuals back into my life. 

This post took me over the course of a few weeks... I just cannot believe how much can happen in just one year. 

Here's to a beautiful 2013!

Taking a step back from life

I need to do some serious soul searching, once again. I find myself, every so often, doubting my future in this field. It's not that I don't really enjoy it, in fact I am completely fascinated by student affairs, but the problem is that I worry it will not be fulfilling or purposeful enough for my personal goals and desires. I question why I didn't consider Non-Profit Leadership graduate programs so that Zach and I could sooner begin to create the non-profit idea we've been working on. Or why Zach and I didn't just apply to the Peace Corps after undergrad. These doubts leak into my brain when I'm supposed to be working toward my degree and I find myself getting frustratingly further and further behind.

Of course, there are certain days when the complete opposite is true. When I find myself recognizing phases and areas of development in the students I work with I become energized and eager to continue developing my student affairs professional persona. As I've mentioned, theory is my favorite class; any time I can use that knowledge or "apply theory to practice" as we love to say in class, I feel right and excited to be in this field. I also adore the memories made in my years of experience in college and working in student activities, and those that I'm beginning to make here at my graduate assistantship and classes.

This teeter-totter of feelings about my current stage in life often leaves my brain exhausted from trying to sort it all out. I just don't understand what obstacle I need to overcome to really understand myself, what I want for my future, and what type of impact I'm going to make on the world. I realize now that graduate school really isn't the place to do that, but at the same time, I've already embarked on this journey and I don't want to jump off the train now and lose momentum when I could potentially chose this as my future after all.

Besides this existential crisis, I've been relatively well. The more time we spend in Seattle, the more it feels like home and familiarity. I can tell I'm doing just a teensy more reaching out than when we first got here, which I consider progress. Every day we get closer and closer to a visit from our good friends Salem, Zach, Christina, and Justin which I'm incredibly excited for. I love having something so good to look forward to! Maybe that will get me through this endless rain. The rumors are true: Seattle is rainy as hell. I wish I wasn't sick of it already, because I hear we have about 5 or 6 more months of it. I've been taking vitamins and using a happy lamp, but will that suffice? We will see at the end of the season.

Recently I started compiling information into a spreadsheet containing contacts and information about international universities I want to ask about internship opportunities. (For my program I have to do 3 internships). I'm quite nervous to start this process and I'm thinking I'll need to seek out some faculty guidance on it. In other news I leave for Hawaii on Tuesday morning! I can't believe the time for NASPA has come already. After a group meeting, homework, and an event tomorrow, I'll have to plan out my conference schedule and start packing. I'm not quite sure what lies ahead of me, but from advice and encouragement I trust it will be something valuable.

Lastly, WHY isn't the work week 4 days so we can always have 3 day weekends? This girl would appreciate the extra time for some quality self-care.

Goals

Throughout my life, I haven't been the type to set personal goals unless prompted. Unless you count weight loss... which we all know those goals have gone out the window several times over for me (but that blog post rant is for another time).  I don't know why I've never sat down and wrote myself some personal goals, but I figured it was about time I did it. Maybe it will be good for me. Maybe it will prove to be worthless.

For the most part, I'm going to concentrate on goals for during and after graduate school, but I might throw in some unrelated things as well.

• Put myself out there. Not to the point that I'm annoying everyone, but to the point that I make an effort and go out of my way to say hello to people, to smile, to ask questions, and not be afraid to make the first move. In the student affairs field, your life is a lot easier if you learn how to network and take advantage of it. I plan to do just that. 
• Intern abroad. We all know Zach and I want to live in various countries in the future. For my program I have to do at least two internships, and I plan on doing everything in my power to obtain an internship in another country. I'll need the experience for my future jobs outside of the US anyway. 
• Foster quality relationships. This includes friendships, professional relationships, and any other qualifying relationship. I had a wonderful cushion of love in St. Cloud, and still have some people close to my heart from back home in southeastern Wisconsin. But I'm in Seattle now and I'm not going to spend my time here riding on surface relationships. I might be out of college years, where you 'make friends for life' but that doesn't mean I can't do it in grad school. Hell, these are the people I'm going to cry with, bleed with, and breathe with for the next two years. I'm going to make the most out of it. Professionally, I want to find a mentor. A lot of my cohort talks about advice from and relationships with their mentor. It's a relationship I envy and a relationship I intend to find for my own. 
• DRAW. I used to love to draw. I still do, but I'm frustrated now because of the patience it requires, and patience isn't something I have a lot of these days. I bought a crafty sketchbook from an art fair at the Seattle Center a few weeks back and I've been sketching in it every once and a while (also writing in it). We don't have any spare money right now, but when we do I want to purchase some watercolor pencils to add some color to what I've done so far.

I doodled Cubone recently. 

• Write. Be it research, fiction, non-fiction, fantasy, or suspense, I want to create writing works that I'm proud to share. I know it will take severe concentration and a heart capable of feedback, but I refuse to die without publishing something. 
• Take care of my health. We tend to ignore our health as busy students. In fact, sometimes we suppress the fact that it exists and gets in the way of our busy lives. I want to make this challenge called grad school a productive one; I can't learn effectively nor accomplish something to be proud of if my health is not up to par. A healthy body is a healthy mind, right? This means taking advantage of the gym, yoga, balanced diet, and no more torturing myself with so much dairy!
• Be the best wife I can be. Did you know I have the best husband in the world? It's hard to measure up. The next two years will no doubt put pressure on my relationship with my husband, so I will always have to remember how grateful I am to have him, and to show him how much I appreciate his friendship, compassion, and love.
• Turn in quality work and turn it in on time. Sounds like an obvious goal, but I won't lie to myself when I admit I am an expert bullshitter when it comes to writing papers at 3am just hours before they are due (at least I was in undergrad). If I'm going to get the most out of this program, and I'm going to publish at least something, then I'm going to put 200% into everything I do. No shanking in grad school.
• Put others before myself. A very typical goal, but probably the one I'll have to work the hardest on. Debilitating self-consciousness makes me think about myself A LOT. I shouldn't say 'think,' I should say 'obsess.' I often think about the time I've wasted obsessing over every blemish, flaw, or embarrassing moment. From now on I will make an effort to not spend so much time obsessing and find a better way to spend my time. I love people. I'm a people person. It will only help me foster meaningful relationships if I'm better at putting others before myself. Not to mention learn valuable lessons in service and global citizenship.

I'm sure that as soon as I post this, I'll think of a thousand more. If they're any good, I'll take note of them. Expressing goals holds them accountable. I'm going to remind myself of these constantly by bookmarking them and checking back on them often. 

Post-graduation weekend

I can't believe it's all over.
I have been waiting for this weekend for four years. I remember when 2012 seemed so far into the future, and sometimes I'm still in shock that it's already 2012.

Friday night we hung out at our apartment with a lot of friends, some in town only for the weekend, others that we were graduating with. It was wonderful socializing at our place over drinks and games. I had to force myself not to think about leaving everyone in less than a month, or else I would have become incredibly emotional.

Saturday I slept in late because I was in the afternoon commencement ceremony. I met briefly with my family, who arrived in town late Friday, and before I knew it I had to start getting dressed and putting on my cap and gown. Running late as we normally do, Zach, Tara and I got there just in time to get to the end of the School of Liberal Arts line to start filing in to Halenbeck gym, where everything was taking place. We sat in the very last row of the sea of graduates, shaking and chatting the whole time. The ceremony itself wasn't very memorable to me, but seeing myself and my friends in that cap and gown was definitely a memory I'll never forget. The symbolism of it will be with me forever. Because of our position in the gym, I was very close to my family; looking back at them every once and a while, and catching them smiling and looking at me, made me feel so fortunate, loved, and proud of my accomplishments. I truly was holding back a waterfall of emotions in those moments.

Walking up to the stage was nerve-wracking. I couldn't stop thinking about how to walk in heels because I didn't want to be the one to trip across the stage. Commencement coordinators rushed us along, as to not stall the already outrageously long ceremony. I remember stopping at the bottom of the stairs, and looking up at the bright lights shining on Zach, President Potter, the provost, and others whom we shook hands with. They ushered me up the stairs and I couldn't even hear my name; I was concentrating so hard on smiling, not tripping, and grabbing the diploma in the right hand! Just before I headed down the stairs and off the stage, one of my favorite professors, head of the Faculty Association, got out of his seat on stage to come shake my hand. Dr. Mark Jaede was one of the first professors I had at SCSU; he taught LAST 250, Introduction to Latin American Studies my first semester. He was someone who reassured me I wanted to continue with Spanish and learn about Latin America. The fact that he was there in the beginning, as well as there in the end of my college career, was so meaningful to me.

At the bottom of the stairs my friend Victor, a university ambassador, was helping usher graduates to the photo backdrop. I hugged him and scooted along; paused for my picture; and went back to our seats.

And it was over. So suddenly.
One moment I was on stage, my heart beating so hard and fast, the next second I was back in my seat, glancing at Zach and Tara with teary eyes.

We hung out in the gym and took some pictures with friends and family. Everything was overwhelming, of course. Pictures with the family, the roommates, the inlaws; all of us were pulled in all directions, smiling like fools!

Soon after we took off to get to Fuji Japanese Steakhouse for dinner. Zach's family and my family went together and we got hibachi (YUM!). It was hard for all of us to talk because the place was PACKED; probably with families of graduates. I think it went well, though. I just wish our families could have socialized more.

After everyone parted ways, I made plans to have breakfast/lunch with my family the next day and Zach and I headed home to get ready for a party at a house we used to live in. It was an amazing time being back there, reliving some of the memories made and spending time with dear friends (who I'm going to miss like hell). 

The next day Zach and I met my family at IHOP and we got to catch up a little bit (over delicious pancakes). They had to leave right after, and it was hard for all of us. Before this weekend, I hadn't seen them for a whole year, and we haven't been good at communicating since. The goodbye, at least for me, was very emotional. This might be the last time I see them for the next 2 years minimum, unless they come out to Seattle and visit or I manage to make enough money to head back to the midwest.

And that was that. It's all over. Felt like it lasted all of 2 minutes. 

So now our lives move on to other things, I suppose.

Recording the events of this weekend has been hard to do, mentally, because of the emotions involved. It's starting to hit me now, that my undergraduate experience is over. I don't know any other me besides the me that is in class at SCSU and heavily involved. What will I do now? I'm quite terrified of having to get to know a whole new campus, and whole new city. 

Moving to Seattle is still coming together. We have lots of apartments we're interested in, and of course we're still sending out lots of job applications. I just signed up for a summer course in my program, and I'm excited to meet people and knock down a few credits before fall. 

Oh, it's my birthday, today. I'm 22 now. Do I feel 22? No. When people ask me how old I am, I almost have to count it out in order to avoid saying 19 or 20. Has that much time really passed since high school? Since Chile? I guess so. Time has flown, and just like everyone says, it's moving exponentially faster as I get older. Today I went to the Mall of America with my friends Bretta, Di, and Tara and I'm stoked about the two dresses I bought. Going to go put one on for dinner tonight.

Until the next chapter...

(I hope my next blog post is about me or Zach getting a job or apartment)

Student Affairs; why?

I'm very curious as to how my friends, coworkers, and supervisors feel about my goals to pursue a degree in student development administration and work in student affairs.

When my husband was revising one of my essays for the graduate school application, one of his comments was "include why you feel the need to be involved; is it just to relive your college days?" and since then I've been wondering if that's what people assume when I tell them my goals; that I don't want to leave college campuses because I don't want to leave my "young self" or something.

Let me lay it out for you.

In my quest for the perfect major, I found a heartfelt passion in community psychology. Each and every class was relevant to my interests, though in the end I resolved that I didn't want to be a counselor, like the program steers you to do. I learn about human differences, human development, personalities, counseling strategies, conflict resolution, working effectively in groups, and more. The combination of classes, the supportive department chair who was kind enough to answer all of my questions, the structure, the ethics, it all spoke to me, told me that the helping profession was where I belonged.

But where to go from there, I asked myself?
I didn't want to work with children, social work was not quite my forte, and one-on-one counseling didn't feel right for me.

Working in student affairs exposed me to higher education administration and student development theories and practices. Though when I joined student activities my second semester of college I had no idea I wanted a future in student affairs, I know now that my commitment to campus involvement over the past 3.5 years has proven to me I'm doing the right thing by applying for programs in student development administration.

I love being a resource, helping my friends, and doing everything I can to make those around me comfortable and smiling. In a position in student affairs, I can be a resource for students every day, whether they're eager and excited for the future, or need a little motivation and help.

We hear that college is an experience; more than a place you take classes and eventually earn a degree, and everyone who has been through college before would most likely agree. In my college experience I have discovered so much about myself, and made something out of myself, whereas before, I had no hope for my future.   I want to pass on my passion, stories of growth, counseling experience, and people skills to the future students of the world. I want to make my mark on education and be innovative in the student development field. I can't see myself being content in any other type of work.

Right now, I wish I could be more optimistic about my grad school app. I'm pretty confident in myself about my application materials and ability to complete the program, but at the same time I want to be overly realistic and not set myself up for a huge disappointment just in case. It should be a crime making us wait an entire month to know the fate of our educational future!

The Story of Stuff

Pride is not a feeling I feel very often, but last night, when my (University Program Board National Events) committee and I implemented an incredible, intellectual event we've been planning for months, I couldn't help but show my pride in the biggest grin stretched across my face.

Before you continue reading this post, please take 20 minutes of your time and go to www.storyofstuff.org and watch, at least, The Story of Stuff.  Annie Leonard is the director of the Story of Stuff project, and the featured speaker for the documentary you just watched. As you can read on the website, she traveled the world for 20 years researching STUFF: where it comes from, how its made, how we use it, and finally, where it goes when we dispose of it.

Before I saw this documentary, I had my eyes were opened wide when I was living in Chile and I realized how less wasteful Chileans were in comparison to United Statesians.  In common chilean homes, their garbage containers weren't as big as ours, and there weren't as many. My host mom would take her re-usable bags and cart down to the market to buy fresh fruit a couple of times a week. They never bought anything unless they NEEDED it. My host mom made a lot of clothes and crafts. It sure was a different world there...

Anyway, I had to watch the Story of Stuff documentary in my Human Relations 102 course in 2010.  Ever since then, I've more often considered the "reduce, reuse, recycle" methodology. First, see if it can be reduced. Do you really need it? Don't buy it. Do you really need 3 servings of this food? Save it for someone who actually needs it. Second, reuse everything that you can. And this means avoiding disposable items. Its hard though, when industries purposefully TRY to make things disposable, especially so that you buy a new one or latest model every few months. Finally, recycle. When you've used something to its last thread of life, search for a way to recycle it before throwing it in the trash, where it will end up in a landfill.

The National Events committee that I facilitate invited Annie Leonard to SCSU to screen her documentary and speak about her travels and knowledge on sustainability and being environmentally conscious. I wish I could have somehow recorded the entire event, because I wish I could somehow share it with all of you. Annie is an incredible and skilled speaker and it was such a high honor to have her on our campus. Over 350 students came to this event, and my committee and I couldn't have been happier with how smoothly it went.  Several students and faculty stayed when she was done, even after the Q&A, in order to speak with her.

Possibly the most incredible part of her speech was that through her messages about the world going to shit, people needing to be more active in sustainability, and how bad things are looking for the near future, she remained and continues to remain so entirely HOPEFULL.  Her smile and excitement never faltered, on and off stage. She is truly someone I look up to and will never forget. Its hard to believe I got to meet her and spend alone time with her, discussing college, students, and green initiatives.

Interesting fact...
About 3 minutes into the event, so 3 minutes in to the documentary, a woman stormed out of the auditorium. WHen I asked her what was wrong, she muttered between clenched teeth somethign along the lines of "This is why there is so much hate.... *grumble grumble* ... and *** occupy wall street *grumble grumble." I think the part she walked out on was probably where the documentary talks about the wasted money poured into the US military... I'm not really sure what her problem was... but it excited me that I helped facilitate an event on campus that sparked controversy.

I wish I was more eloquent with my words; though, no matter how I post about the event, I'll never feel like it will sufficiently represent how life-changing and amazing this event/speaker was for me.

In all,
I found a reason to take pride in my position with UPB and future aspirations. I got the chance to meet someone I look up to, aspire to be, and respect. I successfully implemented an event that I'm going to be proud of for the rest of my life.

A few committee members, my adviser, Zach, and Annie Leonard, after the event. She is the biggest sweetheart!

The Next Step

My husband Zach and I had a discussion yesterday about what we're doing after we graduate in May 2012.   I've been considering graduate school for a while now, knowing for sure that I wanted to further my education, but not exactly sure in which field. Until recently, when I decided I want to work on a college campus, I figured out that I was particularly interested in college student life and development.

It makes sense- I'm incredibly involved on campus: active in several student organizations and receiving payroll from 4 different departments.  I'm passionate about organizations benefiting students as they should and I also go out of my way to encourage and help my fellow peers the best that I can. I thought about it for a long time before I realized any department in student affairs would be interesting to me: career services, education abroad, student activities, advising, et cetera.

After a lot of research into dozens of universities across the country, I decided that Seattle University has just the program I want. It's part College Counseling and Student Development, and part Higher Education Administration (two degrees offered by St. Cloud State.)  They offer Master of Arts in Student Development Administration, and the course load looks incredible: social justice, leadership, multicultural perspective, adults in education.

As soon as I get back from a mini road trip at the end of the semester, I'm going to start filling out my application for Seattle U as well as some for several graduate assistantships on the campus.  With my involvement and good academic standing, I'm not incredibly worried about being denied entrance into the program. That doesn't mean I'm going to slack at all on the application, though!

I'm excited! I really feel good about this, and I think its really going to give me an advantage to graduate with my masters degree so young. It'll make me marketable when I start applying for jobs because I'll be relatively young and fresh :)

As for Zach, he is going to find work in the city somewhere while I'm in school. I know that Microsoft, Google, and Nintendo have headquarters out there, so I'm sure he is looking for positions in those companies. He is very intelligent and versatile, so I'm not too worried about him finding employment. I am a little worried about getting burnt out, but summer is usually a sufficient break for me, and I know that come August, I'll be itching to be in a classroom again.

What will I ever do when I am "done" going back to school in the fall?
Maybe I won't. At least the field I'm going into will keep me on campuses.
I certainly love learning.

You can teach a student a lesson for a day; but if you can teach him to learn by creating curiosity, he will continue the learning process as long as he lives. 

~Clay P. Bedford

Less than 6 months from now, our lease will be up, and we will be preparing to leave St. Cloud. 


Now its time to focus on the present. I have about 50 pages of papers to write in the next two weeks, and they aren't going to write themselves. Tonight, I'm tackling my group therapy implementation methods to prepare for implementing it on Tuesday, as well as some research (en español!) into how Don Quijote de la Mancha still has significant effect on modern art and is present in modern art culture. Maybe after homework I'll touch up my hair to make it look closer to THIS again:

Nostalgia. Always nostalgia.

Reading up on my friend's travel blog (http://amylaraeinbulgaria.wordpress.com) while she's in Bulgaria on a Fulbright Scholarship makes me incredibly nostalgic/jealous/sad/furious all at once.

I miss writing in my travel blog (http://chileanadventures2009.blogspot.com/) when I was living in Chile. Every day was exciting, every day showed me something new. I felt like I had a lot to say and they were all worth writing down. I miss seeing the ocean on a weekly basis. How did I expect to leave the ocean, dump myself back in the Midwest, and expect to be happy? The Midwest United States is NOT the place for a girl like me and it never will be. Thank goodness I'm married to a man with a similar travel/adventure bug. I miss learning a new culture, especially one so different from your own. You learn so much more about your own culture and yourself when you are thrust into an entirely new world and way of working. Four months was not nearly enough time to live in Chile, I needed at least a year. Four months was a tease and I feel like I learned a small fraction of the potential I could have. I miss having exciting things to talk about. In Chile, EVERYTHING was exciting! Whether it was the discoteca stories, the funny cultural jokes from class, last weekends spontaneous trip to Santiago, or next weekends vacation plans, there was always SOMEthing. I don't have that here, nothing is exciting, not ever. "What did you do over the weekend?" I worked and spent all remaining time in the library. When someone asked me that in Chile, I would say "I did some homework and planned next weekends trip to the south!  I especially miss planning trips on the cheap. I know I can do that here, but I just don't have the time with how demanding my schedule is and also the fact that I've already seen a lot of the Midwest (and there isn't much to see). I like sitting down and stretching my money as far as it can go, and even further, especially a place where it practically stretches itself, like South America! Finally, I miss meeting people from all over the world. Whether I was in a small town in Chile, or Buenos Aires, it was always exciting to meet people from Germany, Japan, Australia, and even the state right next to mine. I learned so much from them, and they learned so much from me.

I know I'm just down in the dumps right now due to an incredibly difficult semester arriving at its peak difficulty point, but I can't help but feel nostalgic for my life in Chile every single day. Nostalgic is the perfect word for it too, a tugging sadness yet happy longing for something that once was.


Some day I will return there, I know some day I will see my host family again, I know someday I'll be able to show my husband around the city that truly taught me who I am.

Aren't they just precious?

Finally, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel for this semester, and with how epic my schedule looks for the spring, I can also see the light at the end of the tunnel in regards to graduation. More than patience, I need to learn how to make the best of everything while still taking care of myself.

Lima, Perú - November 2009

People say you "grow up" the most in "college," but I don't think we ever stop growing up. How could we? There are new technological, philosophical, medical, theological advances every single day! There is always something new to learn, and there is always something about ourselves we're not quite sure of yet, no matter how old we are. Sometimes I get scared that I'll be that ornery old person, caught up in her own opinions, and unwilling to open up. At this point I can't see it happening, but you never know! You just NEVER know what is going to happen, no matter how much time you spend trying to plan the future.

I have big plans for today:

• reply to an email I've been afraid to reply to
• discuss after-graduation plans with hubby
• including the possibility of grad school in Seattle
• get stuff done
• allow myself to relax
• cuddle with hubby