Merry Xmas

As I scroll through social media this Christmas, I suddenly understand why it is so sad to be alone during this holiday. Pages and pages I scroll through of the same pictures: families, stockings, pets dressed up in holiday gear, presents, pajamas, and food. What I realized, was that just about each and every person I know that is near and dear to me, is spending this day with their family, meaning, everyone is preoccupied with their family, except myself. My family is thousands of miles away and I am without relatives and friends. Everything is closed and the weather isn't very inviting.

I'm not looking for pity, I am just pointing out why it is so sad to be alone on Christmas when everyone you know celebrates it. The world is shut down, too busy with hot food, cheesy music, and countless relatives.

Granted, I'm not alone, I do have Zach beside me always, but recently I've realized that I'm a huge fan of tradition. It is the tradition of being with family and large groups of loved ones on this holiday that I'm missing so badly right now. I've already made a vow to myself that no matter where I end up for the rest of my life, I'm going to work hard to save up enough money to visit family and friends during the holidays. I wish I realized earlier how much I valued and prioritized the traditions and family in my life: I could have made some very different choices about where I am today.

You know, I came to a similar realization yesterday through another blog that I utilize. I created a post wording my frustrations about how the majority of people ages 18 to 25 have a "freak out" moment when a few of their friends get engaged, married, or pregnant. I can't tell you how many times over social media that I've seen this phrase, in effect: "Ohmygod, everyone I know is getting engaged, married, or pregnant! What the heck!" In my post, I just asked my followers, "What's the big deal?" One of my friends Kelsey posted a response that made sense to me, a response that will remind you of my alone-on-Christmas feelings. It was, verbatim: "It means there are less people to do things with because they forever will have to do things with their significant other and or baby before they can hang out with you."

And that's exactly where I'm at right now. Everyone is spending time with their families, and Zach and I are not.

But alas, we are not truly alone, we are here in Seattle, spending Christmas together with Odin, and Feared Kraken. We don't even celebrate it, technically, but it will always be a holiday in my heart, a holiday of tradition and family, no matter what I might believe religiously. For a few years, I got Zach to celebrate it as "Materialistically-Show-People-You-Love-Them Day" but I'm afraid that died out, as neither of us exchanged gifts with each other this year.

I might sound pretty mopey, but Zach and I have a good day planned together. We're going to decorate cookies, play some video games, and just indulge in goodies, heated blankets, music, and time together.  I might be missing home, but at least I found a partner who can make me happier than I ever thought possible.

I hope everyone has a beautiful holiday, with whoever you celebrate doing whatever you do. Enjoy it! Indulge! And may you be happy for the rest of your lives :)

Winter Break Ramble

It's been a week and a half since I've been off my regular class schedule. Yes, it has been an amazing relief! As I've said in this blog time and time again, the work, thought, and concentration that I've put into my studies here so far have been more challenging than anything else I've ever experienced. But I'm proud of what I've accomplished so far, and I know that in the end, every late night and lesson learned will be fully worth it. So far, it has been: my grades for my first full quarter of grad school are A-, A, A.

Next quarter, I'm signed up for 3 classes: Higher Education Law, The American Community College, and Leadership in a Pluralistic Society. The last class is in the school of Theology and Ministry: never in my life did I imagine taking a course in such a school at a private university! My honest perspective, though, is that I'm truly looking forward to the experience. I might not enjoy religion personally, but I value what we can learn from it.

I'm currently struggling with what to write for the rest of this blog post. All this extra time I have since I don't have homework anymore, has left me alone in my head all too often. I find myself analyzing my life, where it's been and where it's going. Sometimes I spend too much time thinking about the past, looking at old photos, or reading old notes. I hope that by the end of winter break, I'll have some of these thoughts straightened out so I can more smoothly move forward with my academics and new life in Seattle.

Oh Seattle.
It's been just over 6 months now- half a year. Does it feel longer? Does it feel shorter? I can't really say. I'm just really proud of Zach and I for making it. And I have to say thank you to everyone who has supported us along the way that helped make it possible. I certainly could not have done this alone, as I've said time and time again...

Alas, I shall write more when I'm in a better mood. Tonight I'm too nostalgic and can't concentrate well enough to finish this.

Here's a pic of Zach and I at the SUSDA holiday party. We look good :)

Taking a step back from life

I need to do some serious soul searching, once again. I find myself, every so often, doubting my future in this field. It's not that I don't really enjoy it, in fact I am completely fascinated by student affairs, but the problem is that I worry it will not be fulfilling or purposeful enough for my personal goals and desires. I question why I didn't consider Non-Profit Leadership graduate programs so that Zach and I could sooner begin to create the non-profit idea we've been working on. Or why Zach and I didn't just apply to the Peace Corps after undergrad. These doubts leak into my brain when I'm supposed to be working toward my degree and I find myself getting frustratingly further and further behind.

Of course, there are certain days when the complete opposite is true. When I find myself recognizing phases and areas of development in the students I work with I become energized and eager to continue developing my student affairs professional persona. As I've mentioned, theory is my favorite class; any time I can use that knowledge or "apply theory to practice" as we love to say in class, I feel right and excited to be in this field. I also adore the memories made in my years of experience in college and working in student activities, and those that I'm beginning to make here at my graduate assistantship and classes.

This teeter-totter of feelings about my current stage in life often leaves my brain exhausted from trying to sort it all out. I just don't understand what obstacle I need to overcome to really understand myself, what I want for my future, and what type of impact I'm going to make on the world. I realize now that graduate school really isn't the place to do that, but at the same time, I've already embarked on this journey and I don't want to jump off the train now and lose momentum when I could potentially chose this as my future after all.

Besides this existential crisis, I've been relatively well. The more time we spend in Seattle, the more it feels like home and familiarity. I can tell I'm doing just a teensy more reaching out than when we first got here, which I consider progress. Every day we get closer and closer to a visit from our good friends Salem, Zach, Christina, and Justin which I'm incredibly excited for. I love having something so good to look forward to! Maybe that will get me through this endless rain. The rumors are true: Seattle is rainy as hell. I wish I wasn't sick of it already, because I hear we have about 5 or 6 more months of it. I've been taking vitamins and using a happy lamp, but will that suffice? We will see at the end of the season.

Recently I started compiling information into a spreadsheet containing contacts and information about international universities I want to ask about internship opportunities. (For my program I have to do 3 internships). I'm quite nervous to start this process and I'm thinking I'll need to seek out some faculty guidance on it. In other news I leave for Hawaii on Tuesday morning! I can't believe the time for NASPA has come already. After a group meeting, homework, and an event tomorrow, I'll have to plan out my conference schedule and start packing. I'm not quite sure what lies ahead of me, but from advice and encouragement I trust it will be something valuable.

Lastly, WHY isn't the work week 4 days so we can always have 3 day weekends? This girl would appreciate the extra time for some quality self-care.

Amy Goodman - Everyone should know her name

She's an investigative reporter. She asks the most vital questions. Most of the time she's on the frontline with soldiers, behind the fences with protesters, or traveling the country during the presidential election making sure the truth is exposed. She has been beaten, pushed, handcuffed, and arrested just for trying to do her duty to serve the people. There is a reason this woman has won countless awards for journalism, independent media, and social justice, and I recommend you look into her work and her mission.

Amy Goodman, 2008

I hadn't known much about Amy before last year. During my last year at SCSU as National Events Coordinator for UPB, Zach had brought up her name in a meeting where we were planning the Fall 2012 speakers. After group consensus, we started planning to bring Amy Goodman to St. Cloud State in October of 2012. The coordinator who succeeded my position took over the planning process when I graduated and moved to Seattle. Well, it all came together, and it really happened!  Amy spoke at SCSU in front of a crowd of over 400 just last week. It broke my heart not to be in charge of the event, and not being able to see her at my alma mater, but I am delighted that someone like her was able to come speak to my old school. I think SCSU has a lot of strides to make in a lot of different areas, and her influence could be just what some students need.

So, naturally, when Zach found out she would be speaking at a venue just 2 blocks from our studio in Seattle on Friday, we had to buy tickets.  She is in the middle of a 100 city tour with a group of people from Democracy Now! in order to cover the election from an independent media standpoint. They hit all the swing states and their talks emphasized keeping the election fair and debunking mainstream media lies.

It was an incredible honor to hear Amy Goodman speak at Town Hall in Seattle. I learned things I never understood before, and I heard stories that will stick with me for the rest of my life. I wish I could recount every eloquent word that escaped her mouth, but I just would not be able to do her intelligence justice. Go to YouTube right now and watch everything you can about her and what she does.

Zach had to run home so he could work after her talk, but I decided to stay so I could chat with her. I ended up buying her latest book so that she could sign it.

I couldn't believe how "star struck" I became when I got the chance to speak with her, but I'm so glad I did! Amy Goodman will forever be a woman I look up to and will always strive to be like. I told her how Zach and I were responsible for initiating her visit to St. Cloud, MN and her and Dennis said "oh yes! We loved being at Ritsche!"

I'm nowhere near her caliber, but I hope one day I can be as positively impactful on people as she has been on me.

With that, I must go and enjoy my Saturday night with Zach since I've been doing homework all day and I will do homework all day tomorrow.

Side note: It goes unsaid that I'm 'busy' these days. Apologies to all those who are waiting on snail mail from me! I'm working on making more time!

Perry's Theory of Intellectual and Ethical Development

It turns out that my question mark tattoo on my ankle (pictured below) is based on one of the Student Development theories I'm studying for class. Who knew?!? Let me explain...

When people ask "why do you have a question mark tattoo on your ankle?" I generally struggle explaining it to them exactly the way I want to. I usually say that it has to do with growing up and asking questions in order to form my own opinions; it also has a lot to do with the fact that I love learning, I'll never stop learning, and the only way to learn is to ask questions.

Well this lovely Sunday afternoon as I'm reading just a chapter of the hundreds of pages I have to get through this week, I realize that Perry's Theory of Intellectual and Ethical Development deeply captures a piece of my own development in college and movement from dependence to independence. Parry's theory says the three concepts that represent fundamental differences in the meaning-making process are duality, multiplicity, and relativism.

Here is a quote from my book:

If ideas are essentially swallowed whole from authorities such as parents, teachers, group advisors, or textbooks, if little or no questioning is part of the process of adopting these beliefs  then the process demonstrates a dualistic mode of thinking. By contrast, relativistic thinkers, when presented with ideas by an authority figure, may adopt them as their own. Along the way, they critically examine ideas and perhaps even reject them for a period. The rationale for current adherence to the beliefs reflects a more complex process of coming to conclusions, a process that includes some questioning and a contextual basis for the stance taken.

 After reading this section I had to set my book down and take a breath (and write this post) just to say "WOW!" This whole time I have been interested in and have truly valued the development of the college student to such a degree that I tattooed a piece of my own development on my body permanently; before I started studying this sort of thing! Making these personal connections to the theories I'm learning has been incredibly helpful in comprehending content.

Well, back to reading. Happy Sunday!

Progress and Updates

Behold the turtle: she only makes progress when she sticks her neck out.  -James Bryant Conant

Despite the difficulties I've been going through with balancing my jobs, school, social life, and marriage, I have to remember that I'm making progress. The amount of self-doubt that I have been experiencing has been more than I've ever endured in my entire life, yet somehow I'm still pushing forward. I must be doing something right, and I should give myself credit for it.

These first few weeks of classes nearly destroyed me, emotionally. There were a lot of complaints, a ton of tears, many late nights, and a few bottles of wine. I have never been so challenged academically, and little did I know, this is what I've wanted all along. I didn't find undergrad incredibly challenging. I certainly didn't do homework every day, like I've been doing here. I certainly didn't study and read so often. Not to mention all I do is talk about my program with Zach, with peers, with home, et cetera. Last week I broke down and went lower than I've gone before since moving here. I questioned, What am I doing here? Is this what I want? What makes me happy? Will I ever love myself? Will I ever be good at what I do? Should I have taken a year off of school? These questions look easy to read, but they were difficult to ponder. I'm spending a lot of time, money, effort, and sanity here in school thus far; I cannot be doubting it. I can't afford to.

But I realized, this is where I am right now, whatever it is. I am here, in Seattle, at Seattle University, in the SDA program, and this is what I am working toward. I'm not a quitter, and I'm going to push forward until this program is over. Despite the fact that I am not quite sure what it all means to me yet, I'm going to work my hardest and get the most out of it.

Earlier this week, Zach got hit by a car- Don't worry, he is doing fine! He had a sprained ankle and couldn't walk on it most of the week, but he can put weight on it now. I guess the lady who hit him was taking a right turn and he was crossing the street in front of her. She was paused at the light, looking left for oncoming traffic, and let her foot off the break when she hit him. My patience and abilities were truly tested when all of a sudden the cleaning, shopping, and errand duties were added to my plate. But I made it through! I wasn't the greatest, but I managed to complete all the tasks I needed and turn in all my homework on time. I thought it was going to be worse than it was, as usual, but it hasn't been so bad. I am grateful Zach has been so incredibly supportive to me; I know I couldn't make it through all of this without him.

I'm starting to get more excited about school and the program. Just recently I found out about an amazing internship opportunity that I already know I'm going to apply for. It's a paid one, and it's in KUWAIT! There are other opportunities I've found out about like positions in Perú and in other parts of the country. If there is one thing I know I want to do, it's do my internships abroad in order to broaden my global horizons and learn more about myself. I have also recently finally decided on a research topic for my Intro to Educational Research Class: I'm going to look into support for atheist students at private colleges and universities. As an atheist at a Jesuit university, I'm really interested in the information I can uncover!

And now for some sappiness...
If you're reading this, I miss you. I miss you like hell. I've never so badly wanted to return to Wisconsin and Minnesota. I've never been homesick to this outstanding degree. I want to go out in downtown Minneapolis with Salem, Tara, Christina, Justin, Robert, Rachel, Evin, and everyone else I hold dear. I want to go for a long run with Cassie and be silly with her. I want to spend time with everyone in UPB again and support them in their growth and endeavors. I want to tell my friends I love them, and hug them, and dance with them, and just be merry. I miss my family too. We had our differences in the past few years, but with our relationship rekindled and strengthening once again, I long for their support, embrace, and presence. And Zach's mom, of course. I love her like a mom, like a best friend, like a sister, like an angel. I miss everyone so goddamned much it hurts! All of you should know, we're coming back eventually! Nothing is set in stone, but we aren't going to stay away forever. And I'm so glad that Salem, Zach L, Justin, and Christina are coming to visit for New Years! You guys, we are going to have a blast, I can't wait to get crazy with you all in Seattle!

I suppose it's time for me to eat and get some homework done. I won't even tell you how much reading I have to get done for Monday, because it's enough to make me faint. Until next time...

Insignificant Post

Two days ago marked 3 months in Seattle. Only 3 months! Oftentimes it feels like I've been gone so long, but it has only been 3 months!

Last week was thankfully a short week, but it sure felt like an extra long one. Tuesday and Wednesday I spent at SSCC and got lots accomplished. At the IP office at SSCC we offer airport pick ups for international students for a small fee, and on Wednesday night I had my first airport pick up assignment. I was horrified at the idea of driving to the airport, alone, for the first time, and in the dark, but the first half of the trip went perfectly fine. The student found me and the sign I was holding with his name on it and I dropped him off at his host family's house. It was when I was returning to SSCC when everything went horribly wrong; I pulled into the college's driveway with the car only to see that the gates to the parking lot were shut and locked. I frantically called Zach and my supervisor, but I couldn't really be helped since the security office on campus was already closed and it's not like I had any way to contact the correct help. So I ended up just driving over the grass to get to a visitor parking lot and I had to leave it there for the night. It was already past midnight, and I was not happy about how long the whole situation was taking. Well, it gets worse. As I was driving across the lawn, I noticed the very last bus to downtown Seattle careening down the road. After several minutes of pure panic and distress, I caught the last bus going in the wrong direction, and ended up transferring buses in a horrible neighborhood at 1am in order to get back to downtown Seattle. It was a long, horrible night; but I'm glad it's over and I've already had another airport pick up that went much, much better than my first one.

Thursday and Friday I spent all day at GAship Training/Orientation. Between the two days, we had 6 hours of Jesuit 101, 6 hours of Cultural Competency Training, and 2 hours of Graduate Assistantship Basics. Though I was a little bitter about the readings for trainings, and of course the long, two day schedule, the entirety of it was entirely helpful. I was nervous about attending a Jesuit university and knowing nothing about the Jesuits, so now I feel a lot more prepared to represent my institution as a student and graduate assistant. The cultural competency training was some of the best I ever had, and it sure was nice to get closer to other students in my cohort at the same time. The bonding continued when we went out to Happy Hour together afterwards.

Besides my second airport pickup on Saturday, I had a decent weekend. Saturday I met up with my friend Kaily for coffee and we talked a lot about Seattle University and our life plans. Sunday night Zach and I went over to the apartment of someone in my cohort in order to cook sushi together and play some videogames. It was the most social weekend I think I've had since moving here, so that feels good!

When I started typing this blog post, I thought maybe I might have something interesting to say about my past week, but now I feel as though I really didn't. For those of you who read to the end, I'm sorry that this was slightly boring. I'm trying to work on my theme blogging, where I don't just ramble about my life between blog posts, but I actually get fired up about something and have a specific theme or subject to my posts. Yeah, we'll see how that goes.

Believe it or not, classes FINALLY start next week Thursday! I am stoked to order my books once my GAship check comes in! Until next time... (^_^)

Reflection

My decision to apply to Seattle University was a light one in comparison to the research, guidance, and work that other grad students put into finding the right program. Simply put, SU had a good reputation, a highly appealing course load, and I couldn't see anything I didn't like about it besides the fact that grad students here don't get much financial help, even with a GAship. Sometimes I think that I should have sought after an institution that would help pay for my masters, but eventually I realize, and will continue to realize, that Seattle University is going to be worth my money.

And so I find myself, an atheist, in a Jesuit university. When I was awarded a graduate assistantship, I learned that all GAs were to read sections out of two books that they sent to us: Ignatian Humanism and Heroic Leadership. When I first heard this, before I knew what the books were about, I was apprehensive to read them. I didn't want to be preached to, I didn't want to read about 'god,' I didn't want to learn to pray. I had accepted the fact that I was now enrolled in a private institution and would have to accept the differences, but I wasn't ready to be converted, by any means.

I put off reading them. I put it off and put it off, joking with my friends that I had to read "Jesus books" as part of my graduate assistantship, something I now realize could be offensive, and I regret saying it. But one day I cracked open Ignatian Humanism and dove into 15th century Spain and the life of Ignatius of Loyola, someone I didn't know existed until recently. I was fascinated by his life, failures, and successes on his way to becoming the founder of the Society of Jesus. More reading taught me about the incredible lives of other pioneers of the religion such as Matteo Ricci, Francis Xavier, and Pedro Arrupe. Ignatius's soul searching pilgrimages and deep dedication to generosity, Ricci's introduction of China to the western world, and Arrupe's incredible experiences learning from and befriending the Japanese, including living through Hiroshima with them; it is a fascinating story. I think that in the near future I will find myself reading the rest of the book, and much more than what was required of us for training.

Right now I'm still working on the other book Heroic Leadership and it is proving to be a very valuable read. According to the text, Jesuits became leaders by: understanding their strengths, weaknesses, values and worldview; confidently innovating and adapting to embrace a changing world; engaging others with a positive, loving attitude; and energizing themselves and others through heroic ambitions. No matter where I turn at this university, in readings, in work, in course preparations; I find myself learning necessary lessons for not just my future career, but also to make myself a better person. A book that I honestly thought would preach to me what I need to do in order to be a religious leader is turning out to be a no-nonsense book about how to be a real leader, from the inside, out.

Which brings me to the title of this post: reflection. It is somewhat of a joke amongst students in the SDA program that there is such copious amounts of reflection required for each course, internship, and assignment. It wasn't until I began reading these texts that I realized its necessity. The Society of Jesus was founded on the large amount of time that Ignatius had to reflect while he was ill in bed for months. Since then, his followers have known and utilized the value in reflection, and it is a practice passed down and practiced to this very day. After reading portions of these texts, the reason the students in our program have so much reflecting to do is obvious.

I never thought I'd find myself in a private university, but I'm glad I chose to come here. Thank goodness it is finally September, because I am quite impatient for classes to start! Countdown: 19 days. At least I'll get to order my books soon! Later today Zach and I are volunteering at Bumbershoot, and after our shift I get to see City and Colour perform. All in all... HAPPY WEEKEND!

In my head

I've become inspired.
But for specifically what, I do not yet understand.
I find myself with more energy, drive, and focus, than ever before.
I devour my books, I walk with determination, and I fear not to open my mouth.

But where do I channel it?
Though I've been utilizing the sketchbook I bought, I haven't been very satisfied with the work I've put in it. I think some of the sketches are good, and maybe some of the writings, but I have the most trouble taking the sketches and writings and continuing to better them in order to actually turn them into a piece of completed work.

I feel lost, but I know I'm on a road to somewhere; I know I have a destination. Which reminds me of the common phrase "life is a journey, not a destination." What I mean to say, is I know I'm on a sound path to wherever life takes me; I just wish there were more signs and maps to help me out along the way.

This halfhazard, disorganized post is reflective of my life lately. Once again, I find myself busy and involved. I may only have two jobs, but there are a lot of elements to each one, plus I have much to prepare for the upcoming academic year (buying books, scheduling, GAship training, GAship readings, etc). At work and at home I become inspired about random things, and I constantly come home with lists of things to look up, lists of places I want to visit, lists of things to add to my bucket lists, or things to add to my list of aspirations. It's almost overwhelming to someone as disorganized as me.

Today I sat in a two hour presentation on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) as part of the New Beginnings Program ambassador training that I was leading. The personality psychology nerd and student affairs aficionado in me were squealing with delight. I LOVE this personality instrument! I know someday I'll get certified to administrate the test; I just know it. James from Career Services at SU did an amazing job teaching the ambassadors what the instrument did and how it will help them as a leader.

In agreement with the last two times I took the MBTI, my result was ENFP, and so is about 8.1% of the population. I copied the description of ENFPs from a handout he gave us:

Warmly enthusiastic PLANNERS OF CHANGE; imaginative, individualistic; pursue inspiration with impulsive energy; seek to understand and inspire others. With Extraverted INTUITION as the strongest mental process, they are at their best when caught in the enthusiasm of a project, sparking others to see its benefits. They value:

• The surge of inspirations; the pull of emerging possibilities

• A life of variety, people, warm relationships

• Following their insights wherever they lead

• Finding meanings behind the facts

• Creativity, originality, a fresh perspective

• An optimistic, positive, enthusiastic view of life

• Flexibility and openness 

• Exploring, devising, and trying out new things

• Open-ended opportunities and options

• Freedom from the requirement of being practical

• Learning through action, variety, and discovery

• A belief that any obstacles can be overcome

• A focus on people's potentials

• Brainstorming to solve problems

• Work made light and playful by inspiration

Every time I read up about the MBTI or when I attend a session on it like I did today, I find myself reflecting about what it means for me. I also tend to read the descriptions of the other 15 types and think about how I would interact with them. I'm sure for the rest of the night I'll be reading up about my strengths and weaknesses as an ENFP.

What is YOUR type? If you haven't taken the test before, you can follow this link to a fake test (http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes1.htm). However, it only has 72 questions. The official test has more questions, and that makes it more accurate. You can use this one online though, to get an idea of what your types are. 

I suppose I'll end this post here and get to work on something creative or productive. I have 5 chapters to read out of Heroic Leadership before my GAship training next Thursday and I should really get through at least a few things on my to-do list that's been growing ever since we moved to Seattle.

Sayonara! 

I miss art class!

Back in July, Zach and I attended a craft fair at the Seattle Center and I purchased a sketchbook. It wasn't an ordinary sketchbook, as it is made partially out of an old book. The woman who creates these sketchbooks gets old books, from libraries and antique stores, and makes them into sketchbooks and notebooks. She uses the book cover as the sketchbook cover, and re-binds them with fresh, blank pages. She also keeps a few pages of the books and binds them in with the pages. I chose one that was formerly a sewing, knitting, and needlecraft instruction book.

This is what the front looks like.

See? The instruction section is still in my notebook, to the right is a page I wrote on.

Anyway, I've been carrying this book around with me a lot. I use it to write down ideas, prose, poetry, and sketches. I haven't done anything like this before, and honestly it is so refreshing. It's like art and creativity is back in my life again. I even set aside time to work in my book; drawing, writing, or whatever comes to mind. 

Here are a few things I've doodled over the past few weeks.

I told y'all I'm studying japanese, right? The kanji and hiragana numbers are on the upper left.

Cubone is sad.

Inspired by the fact that Zach and I have played A LOT of Mario games lately.

Studying japanese inspired this one.

Japanese will be a challenge for me. I might take a class next year.

I used to be so good at Calligraphy when I learned it in middle school art!

Emotions inspire art. What can I say.

Working on my thigh tattoo design.

I get really frustrated that my work isn't good and incomplete, and honestly my sketchbook has many more doodles, but they're just plain bad. But that's why I'm practicing, right?

I miss the days of middle school and high school art class! They were always my favorite classes. I was in Art Club too. I loved having access to unlimited mediums and art supplies. When I get some extra cash I want to buy some watercolor pencils to add color to some of my doodles. I recently bought some oil pastels, but I can't seem to really make anything great with them, yet.

It's unfortunate that as soon as classes start up, there is a good chance I'll be ignoring my sketchbook until next summer. Maybe I'll schedule some creative time to my Sundays and force myself to sit down with some paper and let the creativity flow. Regardless, I've been enjoying my freedom from the undergrad-ball-and-chain and using free time to draw, explore Seattle, and get in some quality Zach time. As soon as classes start though, I'll have to say "adiós, life!"

Yesterday I had such a fantastic time hiking in Discovery Park with some international students from SSCC. We spent almost 4 hours hiking around the park; we got to see the lighthouse at the point, picnic on the beach, and explore some gorgeous viewpoints. As soon as I returned home I told Zach I HAVE to take him there sometime. What a wonderful, outdoorsy getaway so close to the city!

Today wrapped up the end of my second week at the ISC. Boy, I am going to miss these Fukuoka University students when they leave! One of them added me on Facebook yesterday, and I'm delighted that they want to stay in touch. My goal is to also stay in touch with their Director and see if they'll need an intern someday. Who knows, maybe I'll have an internship in Japan within the next two years! In other ISC news, I'm helping plan and run their ambassador training next week. The ambassadors will be the ones who will help us out at New Student Orientation in September. Things are picking up and I'm getting more work; which is a good thing!

Which reminds me; TGIF! I can finally appreciate weekends again, now that I'm busier. Tomorrow I'm going to the Washington Department of Licensure to get my WA license. I wish I didn't have to forfeit my MN one, but apparently I have no choice. For the rest of the weekend I'll be catching up with Zach, catching up on sleep, and spending the last of my precious free time relaxed.

じゃまた。- Ja mata! - See you later!

Whirlwind

The past week has been crazy. Not as crazy as my last two semesters in undergrad (we all know THAT was crazy) but crazy in comparison to how sedentary life has been in the past two months. I know we've been exploring Seattle, volunteering, and partaking in some events, but nothing had real purpose for me. Not until I had a job in my field, I began working towards something, and time started to fly.

Monday, Wednesday, Thursday I spent at my GAship. Most of my tasks were being a helper/organizer when they went out on outings. A few times I briefly met my supervisor Ryan and he got me up to speed about the basics of the SU International Student Center. Other than that, I was out on the town with the Fukuoka group. I learned a lot and had great fun; I'm delighted to have an opportunity to improve my Japanese. Monday I showed them around Capitol Hill and ate dinner with them. I also got to know two undergraduate students who also work in the ISC On Wednesday I got to go to Bainbridge Island with them, to visit the Bainbridge Japanese History Museum; Friday I went to the Courthouse and Mayor's Office for Senior Services while they interviewed personnel for their research; today I went to a Mariner's game with them. How lucky am I!

Me, Nguyen, and Dom at the history museum

Tuesday and Thursday at SSCC I put in some hours planning for the upcoming events and working on Orientation stuff. Thursday the Level II IEP students threw a graduation party for the IEP Level V group; the students did an amazing job planning the event and impressed everyone there. I enjoyed the opportunity to get to know some of the international students better.

Saturday I took SSCC IP students to the Seattle Sounders VS the Vancouver Whitecaps game. At 11:30 we made our way down to Occidental park where before every game they host a rally for Sounders fans. People were chanting, singing along with Sound Wave, their pep band, and yelling fight songs as we marched to the stadium. The students loved it, I loved it, and I'm already so hooked on the Sounders that I've been looking up what Google claims are the best bars to go to to watch Sounders games. Also I've been trying to find jerseys online, though I definitely can't afford one right now (or for a while). My favorite chant was "Nobody likes us, and WE DON'T CARE!" Oh you pretentious Seattle hipsters :P You are something.

I haven't come home exhausted every day since May. Honestly, it's a nice change to be back in a busy schedule. I feel so great about getting a job and working toward something greater, but I can't help but feel awful for Zach. I mean, he's fine and happy for the most part, but I just want him to find whatever makes him happy. Be it going back to school, finding a specific job, or whatever. We're going to be fine with money, I just want both of us to settle in and get comfortable, mostly since I've dedicated the next two years of my life here. Another sad fact is that come September 19 when classes start up, I don't know when I'll ever see Zach. There are two days per week that I'll probably be gone for 14 hours minimum, and I know that any spare time will need to be spent studying.

I do have faith though. Things will work out. We're doing amazing so far. For two relatively independent young people across the country, we have a roof over our heads, a bed to sleep on, and food in the fridge. We must still be doing pretty damn well.

Last night I volunteered at Hempfest in Myrtle Edwards Park. I helped sell merch and gave directions to attendees. I was going to go back tonight and help again but I'm not feeling the greatest. I'm starting to think it's due to the whirlwind week I just endured. And I didn't even mention the emotional turmoil it took on me. Time to rest up.

With that, I bid you adieu; ja ma ta ne (see you later!)

Before I wrap this up, I must point out that Ratatat is an amazing band to listen to while I'm blogging. Maybe their beats coincide with the rhythm I type at... regardless, check them out. Very chill and enjoyable.

Win some, lose some.

This morning I woke up, headed over to the bathroom, and turned the shower knob, but no water came out. Yes, the water main burst in the middle of the night, apparently, and I found this out after dressing and trying to track down my landlord early this morning. So I did what any water-less person has to do and used the water in the pitcher of our fridge by pouring it over my head in the tub.

I tried not to let this ruin my day, as it was my first day in the International Student Center at Seattle University as their graduate assistant. Luckily I pushed the water-less morning out of my head because I had a fantastic first day. I started my position at the ISC two weeks earlier than most GAs because I'm helping with a short term program; 17 students from Fukuoka University in Japan are here for the next two and a half weeks to study English and Law. Most of the day I set up my work station, got to know my new coworkers, and waited for the students to arrive from the airport. When they did my coworkers Nguyen, Anya, and Dominic and the staff of the ISC Dale and Sandra all met up with them and oriented them to staying in the dorms (they're staying with host families after tonight). We ate dinner with them at Cherry Street Market (the student dining hall) and then Nguyen, Anya, Dominic, and I took them for a walk down Broadway and through Cal Anderson Park. I was only able to learn a few names, but they are a wonderful group of students and I got to practice my Japanese with them. I'm really looking forward to working with them more! Since I want to work, intern, or study in Japan at some point, I'm going to ask them lots of questions and learn as much as I can.

I stayed with the Fukuoka group much later than my usual Monday office hours would go (didn't get home until past 8pm), but I was able, willing, and eager to spend time with the students so I don't mind at all. I'm sure once classes start up I won't be able to afford much extra time there.

Honestly right now I'm really bummed about this dress that just got ruined in the wash. I am the worst person to do laundry! I'm constantly shrinking, dying, or just plain ruining my clothes. I'm mostly upset because I never got the chance to wear the dress and it shrunk so badly that I will ever get to. I swear I ruin at least one item of clothing every time I do laundry. Hundreds of dollars of clothes have been wasted because I apparently cannot separate my clothes and wash them correctly. What is wrong with me? As soon as I saw the dress today I thought to myself "THIS IS WHY YOU CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!" I've been stressing about money lately, so any time I waste something I get pretty upset.

Today was such a push and pull of good and bad happenings, hence the post's title. But I suppose that's how life works; it's not perfect all of the time. I have to learn not to fret the small stuff, but IT'S ALL THE SMALL STUFF! (I think I just stole that tagline from the book Don't sweat the small stuff). I've had a few bouts of pretty bad anxiety since arriving in Seattle, but I'm really hoping those disappear once this place starts feeling like home. Sometimes my mind compiles all of the things I could possibly worry about and makes me worry about them all at the same time. Then my poor self-image and complete lack of confidence adds fuel to the fire and I start a long, grueling, downward spiral. Thankfully I have a loving, down-to-earth partner, an affectionate cat, books, and room to do yoga in our studio; these things have been keeping my head above water so far.

But enough of the sad/anxiety crap that I dwell on too much...

I'm going to my first Seattle Sounders game on Saturday with my job at SSCC! I'm taking 19 students with me and we're going to arrive early to storm the field before the game starts. It will be my first event with students without my coworker, but I know we'll be fine. I'm really getting the hang of my position there now, thankfully.

This is my first week working both my GAship and my job at SSCC; wish me luck! My schedule is only going to get busier from here.

Goals

Throughout my life, I haven't been the type to set personal goals unless prompted. Unless you count weight loss... which we all know those goals have gone out the window several times over for me (but that blog post rant is for another time).  I don't know why I've never sat down and wrote myself some personal goals, but I figured it was about time I did it. Maybe it will be good for me. Maybe it will prove to be worthless.

For the most part, I'm going to concentrate on goals for during and after graduate school, but I might throw in some unrelated things as well.

• Put myself out there. Not to the point that I'm annoying everyone, but to the point that I make an effort and go out of my way to say hello to people, to smile, to ask questions, and not be afraid to make the first move. In the student affairs field, your life is a lot easier if you learn how to network and take advantage of it. I plan to do just that. 
• Intern abroad. We all know Zach and I want to live in various countries in the future. For my program I have to do at least two internships, and I plan on doing everything in my power to obtain an internship in another country. I'll need the experience for my future jobs outside of the US anyway. 
• Foster quality relationships. This includes friendships, professional relationships, and any other qualifying relationship. I had a wonderful cushion of love in St. Cloud, and still have some people close to my heart from back home in southeastern Wisconsin. But I'm in Seattle now and I'm not going to spend my time here riding on surface relationships. I might be out of college years, where you 'make friends for life' but that doesn't mean I can't do it in grad school. Hell, these are the people I'm going to cry with, bleed with, and breathe with for the next two years. I'm going to make the most out of it. Professionally, I want to find a mentor. A lot of my cohort talks about advice from and relationships with their mentor. It's a relationship I envy and a relationship I intend to find for my own. 
• DRAW. I used to love to draw. I still do, but I'm frustrated now because of the patience it requires, and patience isn't something I have a lot of these days. I bought a crafty sketchbook from an art fair at the Seattle Center a few weeks back and I've been sketching in it every once and a while (also writing in it). We don't have any spare money right now, but when we do I want to purchase some watercolor pencils to add some color to what I've done so far.

I doodled Cubone recently. 

• Write. Be it research, fiction, non-fiction, fantasy, or suspense, I want to create writing works that I'm proud to share. I know it will take severe concentration and a heart capable of feedback, but I refuse to die without publishing something. 
• Take care of my health. We tend to ignore our health as busy students. In fact, sometimes we suppress the fact that it exists and gets in the way of our busy lives. I want to make this challenge called grad school a productive one; I can't learn effectively nor accomplish something to be proud of if my health is not up to par. A healthy body is a healthy mind, right? This means taking advantage of the gym, yoga, balanced diet, and no more torturing myself with so much dairy!
• Be the best wife I can be. Did you know I have the best husband in the world? It's hard to measure up. The next two years will no doubt put pressure on my relationship with my husband, so I will always have to remember how grateful I am to have him, and to show him how much I appreciate his friendship, compassion, and love.
• Turn in quality work and turn it in on time. Sounds like an obvious goal, but I won't lie to myself when I admit I am an expert bullshitter when it comes to writing papers at 3am just hours before they are due (at least I was in undergrad). If I'm going to get the most out of this program, and I'm going to publish at least something, then I'm going to put 200% into everything I do. No shanking in grad school.
• Put others before myself. A very typical goal, but probably the one I'll have to work the hardest on. Debilitating self-consciousness makes me think about myself A LOT. I shouldn't say 'think,' I should say 'obsess.' I often think about the time I've wasted obsessing over every blemish, flaw, or embarrassing moment. From now on I will make an effort to not spend so much time obsessing and find a better way to spend my time. I love people. I'm a people person. It will only help me foster meaningful relationships if I'm better at putting others before myself. Not to mention learn valuable lessons in service and global citizenship.

I'm sure that as soon as I post this, I'll think of a thousand more. If they're any good, I'll take note of them. Expressing goals holds them accountable. I'm going to remind myself of these constantly by bookmarking them and checking back on them often. 

Scrumptious Seattle

Our fridge may be empty most of the time, and our furniture and clothing might all be from the thrift store, but damn, we are doing good out here, I have to admit. I know I may be pessimistic sometimes, but how can I really complain when we can afford rent, groceries, and even a few treats? Our hard work is continuously paying off and it's a huge relief that things are working out. I'll confess, I didn't have a lot of faith in my own future; beyond St. Cloud was vague and risky and I couldn't imagine where I'd be in the next year. But here we are; roof over our heads, bellies full of food, happy pets, and a modest, glorious life.

I spent a relaxing evening reading by the piers last week.

I have just one more week of an easy schedule (one job 17 hours per week) until my graduate assistantship starts on August 13; then I'll be working 37 hours per week minimum. I'm starting to get more emails about starting my program and I'm getting more and more excited! There are some orientations and other things to attend and I'm really looking forward to getting to know and spending time with my cohort. I can't afford to buy my books yet, but I'm really looking forward to when I do. I actually have to read books for my GAship. I guess it's also a class called Jesuit 101: Introduction to Higher Education. The books we have to read are Ignatian Humanism by Ronald Modras and Heroic Leadership by Chris Lowney. I've only skimmed both of the books, but I think they're going to be interesting. I have so much to learn when it comes to student affairs and higher education that I'm itching for this program to start! I feel as though summer is crawling by. Of course, we all know time will fly when the program actually begins.

Eventually I have to work on getting a Washington driver's license. Well, not eventually, more like as soon as I can. I can use my Minnesota license, but since I'll be reserving vans to use for my position at South Seattle Community College, I really should get a Washington license like the DMV expects you to do within 30 days of moving. I'm a little upset because I got my Minnesota one just over 1 year ago! It'll be good to have an up-to-date identification card, I guess.

On Friday Zach and I picnicked at Alki Beach. We took the bus there from downtown and packed a blanket, sandwiches and grapes. Alki Beach is so beautiful! You can see a ton of the islands in the sound, plus an entire mountain range and several peaks. If you're at the far end of the beach you can see the Space Needle. I'm glad we went on Friday because the Blue Angles were practicing and when they fly over our neighborhood we can't hear anything! The best part was seeing them flying over the city on the West Seattle Bridge. I wish I could have taken a picture!

This is just a glimpse of the views you can see of Seattle from West Seattle!

Here was our view for our picnic. Just behind the hill on the right is the Space Needle.

Honeymoon phase or not, I'm still so in love with Seattle. The beauty of the pacific northwest and Seattle as a city itself is still awe inspiring after over 2 months of living here. There is always things to do, places to go, and people to meet. I can already imagine us coming back here to live. Maybe we'll even spend more than just two years here. But you never know! Zach and I do talk about Japan a lot.

August! Whoa!

I really enjoy observing my own adjustments to the move, new city, and new people. I might still have moments of loneliness or loss, but the differences between the Catie that moved to Seattle on June 8th and the Catie who is perusing the streets like a true Seattleite on August 1st are obvious and immense. The best part about it is the lesson; because we all know I'm going to be adjusting to several new, big cities in my future. These obstacles, these observations, they're all preparing me for the adventure that is my future, and the fact that I walk the streets with confidence and eagerly head to work in the morning gives me great hope.

Thank goodness I am getting used to my new office at SSCC! Being the new person is something I have always hated; the constant questions, the awkwardness, and not knowing exactly where to be or what to do all drives me crazy. Though I'm struggling with the vast amount of freedom I have in this position, it's nice to have that for a change. Last week the other Activities Coordinator, Nathan, and I took groups of international students to the Microsoft Visitor Center on Friday and volunteered with them with EarthCorps at a trail in West Seattle on Saturday. It was the smiling, laughing international students that reassured me, once again, that I am going into the right field. Some of them got to Skype their families in other countries when we were visiting Microsoft! Others learned a ton about identifying local and invasive plant species when we were volunteering. In the future we have planned some hikes, historical tours, and tourist attractions planned for them. I'm most looking forward to new student orientation this fall quarter; Nathan and I get to spearhead the whole day! Maybe I'm just still in the honeymoon period, but right now I'd say I love this job so much I'd do it for free. (Just don't tell them that!)

Now that it's August, that means my first day as a graduate assistant is less than 2 weeks away! I think I have a solid schedule hammered out between my two jobs. It will be soon enough that classes get added in to that as well. Though nothing can compare to my ridiculously over-involved undergrad experience, this will be a challenge I know. But hey, what's a better way to grow than to challenge myself?

It's another day at the grind for me tomorrow. I am already looking forward to the weekend, though. My mornings have just been super crappy; but maybe that's just because my body is used to waking up at its leisure.

Sidenote: Odin is psychotic right now. For those of you who know him, yes, his pupils are 100% dilated, he is running top speed around the studio, and every so often grabbing someone's limb and biting it before dashing off again. Psycho kitty! And now he is begging Zach hardcore for some yum yums. I guess that means it's time for me to go spoil my cat.

While I'm gone, check out this picture I took of a guy washing windows on a skyscraper:

I believe it's the One Union Square building!

It's getting better all the time

(FRIDAY)

Today was my second day at work for South Seattle Community College (SSCC) International Programs (IP) office. From 8am to 1pm I was training to run the front desk, answer inquiries, file paperwork, and learning FERPA (Federal Educational Rights and Privacy Act, I think). I have never felt so welcome at a place of employment quite like the welcome I felt here. In the afternoon my coworker came in and he and I took 3 international students on an outing to Bite of Seattle, a food festival at the Seattle Center showcasing local eateries, bands, and artisans.  It was a wonderful day and I know I'm really going to enjoy this place when fall quarter comes and everything picks up again.

I'm still adjusting to this place.  Zach is doing better than me. I just have to be so damn emotional and have this insatiable urge to feel "at home." It'll come soon enough, but I have to work for it by putting myself out there and gaining some self confidence.

We got some rain today; something I really should try and become more familiar with. I somehow got rid of every waterproof clothing item I ever had before we moved out here. Yesterday I managed to find 2 nice shirts and a blazer I can wear to work at the thrift store; I was ecstatic because I really needed some more dress clothes. If only I got lucky there more often! It's always hit or miss, you have to be patient when you shop there. Though it can be a fun game, you can't rarely accomplish a specific clothing mission there.

(SATURDAY)

Di and Mitch, on their way out to California, are stopping in Seattle today! I think we're going to take them to the Bite of Seattle event that I went to yesterday for work. They'll like it, I'm sure. Free food and entertainment, where can you go wrong? I actually really enjoyed myself there; there is so much food to try and lots to look at. The Seattle Center is a fantastic place to put on events. Summer here is THE BEST; there are festivals every weekend and always things to do! Today at the Seattle Art Museum Sculpture Park they have free yoga on the lawn at 10:30 as well as a free sketch class where they supply you with what you need to learn to draw in the park.

I just have to go back to talking about my job at SSCC to say how much I really am going to love it. I'm back in event planning and I'm going to be making a positive impact on the lives of international students there. And for an amazing pay, that I feel that I'll hardly deserve! I'm grateful for this wonderful opportunity with them :)

Things are going to start picking up for me. Sunday I'm going to Alki Beach with my future supervisor of my graduate assistantship along with two NUFP (NASPA undergraduate fellowship program) interns. We're going to get some lunch and then he's going to show us the beach. I guess there is a little statue of liberty there? The following weeks are mostly full of my 17 max hours at SSCC (or at whatever venue the event is that we take students too). My graduate assistantship is going to start 2 weeks early so that I can gain experience working with the Fukuoka program. The program brings I think around 30 japanese students from Fukuoka University over here for two weeks to study, experience the surrounding area, and practice their English. At the end of the academic year, I will be helping plan the program with my supervisor. I'm really looking forward to it!

Also, I have been looking at LOTS of programs abroad.

(SUNDAY)


I kept putting off posting this post so I kept getting time frames confused and I have no idea what tense to write in, haha!

Blood, sweat, and tears

Our first 5 weeks in Seattle haven't been 100% blood, sweat, and tears, but if you asked me how I felt about moving the day before we left St. Cloud, you would have found me curled up in a ball on the floor of our empty closet with wet, swollen eyes sobbing about how we're not going to make it.

Looking back on August of 2008, the days before I left New Berlin, Wisconsin for St. Cloud State University in Minnesota, I cannot recall how I felt about the whole thing. There was so much to prepare for in the days leading to my departure that by now everything in my memory is a blur. The only thing I remember is the moment I hugged my parents goodbye on campus; I saw their eyes getting wet and as they turned away, my own tears started flowing without my consent. I turned around and looked at Mitchell Hall, my new home, and never felt so alone in my life. There was not one person in the entire city who's name I knew besides my roommate's.

Four years of SCSU later I found myself with quality friendships, multiple jobs, internships, and a husband. Everything worked out. That first year was hard, and so was the last year, but everything worked out. I have to remember that while I'm in Seattle. I have to remember that every time that we move (because we plan on moving around a lot).

Tomorrow marks 5 weeks here. Yesterday, I was offered two part-time positions in my field. One is a graduate assistantship at Seattle University with the International Student Center and the other position is the Activities and Events Coordinator with South Seattle Community College.  I am delighted that my hard work and dedication paid off. Of course, I couldn't have done it with a little help from some new friends. Melissa was a girl in my summer class; she let me know about the International Student Center deciding to hire a second graduate assistant because she works there as one. Lindsey, another girl in my summer class, actually works in the same office at South Seattle Community College, where I got my position, and put in good words for me. Thank you so much, you two! I appreciate your help and support.

Tonight we're going out for food and drinks, partially because I haven't seen people from my class in a while, partially because I want to go out and celebrate getting job(S)!

It's been such a productive week, I feel incredible. My Google calendar is filling up nicely again. Remember this?

August 2011 - May 2012: Every waking second I either worked or did homework.

Yeah I don't ever want to go back to that. But the past 5 weeks my Google Calendar has been anxiety-provoking-ly EMPTY. I'll have to remember to keep a healthy balance. Being under-involved makes me lonely, being overly-involved makes me crazy. Two jobs, grad school, and a few volunteer hours each week should keep me well balanced, I think.

Going back to the post title: blood, sweat, and tears. I shed so many tears in the past few months. In May it was because of all the difficult goodbyes I had to face, in June it was because I lacked hope and felt in dispair without friends or an income. It's July now and my blood, sweat, and tears have pulled through for me with jobs and new friends. I'm so fortunate and grateful that things are working out. Now if only an employer would see Zach's resume and recognize his genius and glory so we're both employed!

Today I have some appointments on campus and I'm going to take care of some things there. Tomorrow I head over to South Seattle Community College to fill out some hiring paperwork. I start next week at SSCC and my first day at the ISC at SU is August 27! I'm proud of myself.

Catie listens to the Internet again!

So I know nothing about beauty products. Well, next to nothing. I came across my friend Addi's new beauty blog today and watched her first video (which was 20 minutes long, mind you.) She has beauty products I've never even heard of that does things to certain layers of skin, certain parts of you, whatever that I didn't know people ever did before. Does this mean I'm super behind on this, "maybe I should start taking care of my skin and spending better money on make-up so I don't look 60 when I'm 40" thing?

Anyway, what I'm about to post pictures of has nothing to do with that.

I've been on a role when it comes to listening to the Internet, which ironically has stemmed from the fact that I wanted to spend less time derping around on the Internet. By listening to it I'm doing the crafts and recipes from the bookmarks I've made or whatever I've Stumbled Upon lately rather than drooling over pages of Tumblr and bookmarking more crafts I'll never do until I stay away from the Interwebz.

Today, after I failed at dying my hair dark auburn brown,

I remembered a tutorial I had seen for making wings on your eyelids with eyeliner. You can tell I'm a noob from the way I described the thing. Anyway I never wear liquid eyeliner except for special occasions but I wanted to try this technique I saw

First I taped my eyes like a derpette.

Then I abused the advantage of the tape and sloppily swapped on some liquid eyeliner, going a little past the edge of my eye

Took the tape of and voila! Beautiful winged eyeliner. Is this how everyone does it? Because I couldn't do this look without the tape...

Ta-da! Experimentation got Catie to actually spend time on make up today! Confidence boost, aww yeah.

The fact that I've been posting on Blogger a lot means I have way too much free time on my hands. Every day we get outside and walk around for whatever reason, which is great, but I still need some kind of purpose! I'm excited though that we'll start volunteering more soon :)

Ish is actually coming back to our place on Wednesday and then flying back to Minneapolis sometime at the end of the week. I'm excited to hang out with him again!

Catie does DIY!

I was Stumbling my life away this beautiful Sunday morning instead of being outside on this day of perfect weather when I came across a Do-It-Yourself blog post to make a braided top similar to this one offered at Banana Republic.

Whenever Catie comes across a cute and easy DIY project, she usually can't resist. I don't know if anyone has noticed, but every few months this will happen to me where I suddenly go from surfing the Internet to cutting up t-shirts and usually the project ends up looking sloppy because I'm just so excited to finish and wear it.

One time I cut up a t-shirt I bought in Perú and made myself wear it for at least a day. I never wore the shirt before because it fit me so awkwardly, and I told myself that if I cut it up and made myself wear it once, it's better than sitting in my closet for the rest of forever...

May 13th, 2011. The last time I cut up a t-shirt, not including the one I cut the sleeves off of to wear to the gym.

So anyway, I've held onto a few of Zach's t-shirts that he was going to get rid of over the past few years, and today I decided to cut one up and make it look just as perfect as the braided shirt picture above.

I started by cutting off some of the neck. Looking back I wish I had made it lower, or maybe into more of a v-neck shape (I live in hipster-city these days, why shouldn't I have some v-necks?).

cool shirt, right?!

Then, following the instructions from the original blog post I stumbled upon, I cut some slits near the collar.

Maybe I should have washed it first.

Then it was time to do the "braiding." The braiding was more like looping you did when you were younger to make other DIY things I can't remember right now.

close up of the braided collar

it changed the shape of the shirt, that's for sure. I had to use some safety pins to secure both ends of the braid, later I'm going to purchase some black thread so I can sew it and it doesn't look like I'm a desperate 12 year old goth with safety pins in my clothing to make me look tough.

I hate t-shirt sleeves. They're at an awkward length for my arms. I had to figure out something to do to these sleeves. I started by cutting off the hem.

Then I followed a different t-shirt modification tutorial and cut a slit down the sleeve following the seam from the shoulders, then tied the end.

Now it looks like this:

I really hate those safety pins. I need some thread asap.

So later I asked this anonymous girl to model the shirt for me. This is how it looks on someone:

VOILA!

Since I didn't modify how the shirt fit around the chest and stomach, it's a little baggy/frumpy, but I will save that project for another day.

It was kinda fun. I've always wanted to modify my t-shirts. I wish I didn't have to get rid of so many before we moved to Seattle, because I would have SO MANY to chose from now if I didn't! I'm thinking when I have a steady income I'll start picking up some t-shirts from thrift stores, where I primarily do my clothes shopping in the first place.

I know!

I'm going to put out an ad on Craigslist to see if anyone has lots of t-shirts to get rid of. It's perfect! I can help someone else get rid of stuff they don't need, and I won't be upset if I mess up modifying a shirt because it wasn't one I paid for or care much about! I hope I get some responses.

Today Zach and I are going to stop by the farmer's market they have in Capitol Hill. I'm excited to see what they'll have. Then we're going to check out the Urban Craft Uprising event going on at the Seattle Center's Exhibition center. We've been so grateful the weather has been beautiful; even spent most of yesterday outside, exploring! Seattle summers are jus too perfect: no humidity, no scorching heat, just beauty.